Hallucinations and Realisations
by Scully2
Summary: Chapter 5 is up, Major spoilers for Season 7 - Death Knell, Beware! SHIP AHOY! Sam has to struggle against all the odds to stay alive.
1. Default Chapter

Okay, so I watched this ep about 15 times already and it's only been aired for a week, lol.  What can I say, I thoroughly enjoyed it. :O) AND….Go Teal'c the secret shipper :O).

Spoilers: For Grace and Paradise lost.

Rating: PG

Stargate will never be mine *sniff*

Pairings: I'm not saying anything :O)****

Chapter one – Hallucinations and Realisations 

It was late; the only sound that could be heard was the gentle strum of the strobe lights that flickered consistently in the darkness of the infirmary. Unconsciously, Sam felt the presence of someone nearby and she felt herself returning to reality, her sub-conscious slowly drifting towards the surface.

She could hear a mechanical beeping sound waking her from the deepest sleep. Part of her feared that she would find herself back on the Prometheus, alone in the vastness of space with only her hallucinations for company.

Breathing deeply inward, she felt a softness encumber her body, her head resting lightly against a pillow. Her lips and throat felt dry and coarse. With her eyes still closed, unwilling to surrender to what faced her, she began licking her lips in a desperate effort to moisten the cracks that seemed intent on forming there.

Blinking lazily, she knew that it was now or never. Her mind began to crawl slowly back to reality. Hearing the softness of someone else breathing, she knew that she would have to turn to see them; her heart ached at the thought that *he* would be there when she awoke.  Wincing slightly from the pain she began turning her head to face the person beside her.

The figure sat silently, his hand resting on his chin, watching her with fear and sadness in his eyes; pondering about what could have happened if they hadn't found her in time.  His eyes once bright and full of spark seemed to have lost their vibrancy; his face lined with apprehension appeared to have aged ten years since he'd heard she was missing. It seemed that she'd been lost forever, but in reality it had only been 4 days.

Staring at the figure, she blinked several times in an effort to bring the person into focus as heard the words, "Hey!"

Sam's heart jumped slightly at the sound of his voice, and her heart rate increased causing the monitor to bleep in response. With her mind still sluggish from the concussion, she didn't register at first that she was in the infirmary and back at the SGC, with her C.O sitting beside her; waiting for signs of movement.

Her mind kept taking her back to their conversation on board the Prometheus and how he had softly ridiculed her for calling him "Sir" even in her hallucinatory state. This time she was going to be honest.

"Jack?" She answered breathlessly.

Unable to believe his ears, he was taken aback by the fact that it fell so easily from her lips; and felt so right to him. Shaking his head ever so slightly in an effort to remind himself where they were, he was stunned for a second on how to reply. Here he was, alone with her in the infirmary… and she was calling him 'Jack'. Something that he'd wanted to hear for a long time, but only dreamed. Shocked that she had said his name so readily, he replied, "Excuse me?"

A blank expression washed over her. After a few seconds of uncertainty, Sam willed herself to remember where she was. With her brain finally beginning to kick into gear her thoughts slowly came to order; she wasn't on the Prometheus anymore. This was reality - and she was lying here in a cot in the infirmary attached to various monitors. It caught her off guard for a split second, before realisation dawned on her that; he was her commanding officer, not 'Jack' whom she had kissed so passionately on the ship and who had reciprocated at her touch.

The only words she could manage to utter were, "Sorry, sir."

"Yes, well…" Jack replied clearing his throat. His heart felt as if it was the most pleasing sound in the world, to have her call him by his name.  Not 'sir', or 'colonel', but *'Jack'*. Here they were though on base, he couldn't let anyone else know how much it meant to him, too much was at stake. Trying to find a way to let her know that he didn't mind, he smiled sweetly. As the corners of his eyes began twinkling in the darkness he continued, "…A massive concussion will tend to disorientate one." 

"How long was I out there?"

"It's all relative, Carter, that whole time space..." 

"Sir"

"4 days."

Shaking her head in disbelief Sam responded softly, "I could've sworn it was weeks."

Jack smiled sadly; to him it did feel as if weeks had gone by. For four days he'd thought his whole world had come crashing down upon him. His heart had ached at the thought of never seeing her again or hearing the soft sound of her voice every day. He'd felt like his heart had been ripped from his body. Never again did he want to feel that way again, and he was going to make damned sure that she knew how much she meant to him and how empty he'd felt, without her by his side…but not today.  

He'd never felt so pleased to see her, and for a brief moment it disarmed him. Snapping himself out of his silent reverie he tried to quickly change the subject before she realised that for once in his life, he was lost for words. "Teal'c and Daniel say 'Hi'. Um… they organising a bit of a shindig for when you're up and around.  There's talk of cake…"

"Cake!" Sam answered grinning, her eyes lighting up at the thought.

Seeing her grinning made his heart nearly jump out of his chest, with his eyes sparkling he replied, "My idea." 

"Can't wait." Sam answered tiredly, the events of the previous days catching up with her.

"You need anything? Magazine? Yo-Yo?" Jack beamed. Inside though his thoughts betrayed him and he wanted to add himself to the list. He knew that this wasn't the time or the place, especially as it seemed unlikely that she would ever remember them having this conversation.

"I'm fine."

"Yes you are." Jack grinned; the corners of his eyes creasing up ever so slightly.

"Thank you, sir." Sam told him softly.

"For what?" Jack asked with a quizzical expression on his face.

Looking across at him intensely, for a few seconds she couldn't understand why he didn't know ***what*** she was thanking him for. How could he forget something as important as the conversation they'd had on the ship? The conversation, when she'd actually told him that she was willing to give everything up for him in a heartbeat? 

Suddenly realisation took hold of her and she remembered it wasn't actually *him* that she'd talked with, it was her self and her inhibitions to move forward. Her insides began quivering at the thought of explaining what happened, but for now she was too tired and too confused. Instead she replied with a small shake of her head, "Nothing." 

"Think nothing of it, I have plenty of that!" Jack answered, his eyes revealing that he didn't have a clue what was going on in that head of hers.

As Sam's eyes began closing, Jack took one last longing look into her eyes, smiling serenely, she was home, and she was safe, and that's what mattered most. Nodding slightly, he smiled before leaving the infirmary.

With her eyelids fluttering to a close, the remnants of sleep began closing in on her. Taking a long deep breath inwards, she began exhaling slowly as her vision narrowed. As sleep began drawing in, a child's voice began singing "Twinkle Twinkle little star…" Smiling slightly she allowed herself to fall to sleep.

End of Part 1

Okay, so what did you think? I know it involved a lot of the dialogue for "Grace", but I needed this to set up Part 2 :O) Which should be up within the next few days.

And as this is now cannon, I say, let the ship flow :O)


	2. Mixed Emotions

Thanks for the reviews, peeps, you guys are great ***blows kisses*** 

I'm really enjoying myself at the moment, so thought I might make this into a lil mini series while season 7 runs in the UK and US. 

Sooo, muse allowing I will be writing with the inclusion of bits and bobs from "Grace" to hopefully the "Lost City" adding my own random fluff as I go along.

I promise to keep the "pee warnings" down to a minimum, lol.

So shutting up, here is the next instalment.

Spoilers: Paradise lost, Window of Opportunity and generally S7.

Rating: PG

Stargate; Is it mine? Nah, didn't think so. 

**Chapter 2: Mixed Emotions**

Waking up slowly, Sam felt disorientated and confused. She wasn't quite sure where she was, only that she hadn't found herself lying on a stone cold floor; something that had happened so many times over the last few days.

Placing her hands beside her, she felt the softness of the cotton sheets, and electrodes attached to her body, the soft hum of a monitor whirling beside her.

"Hey. Welcome back to the land of the living." A chirpy voice echoed coming towards her.

"Janet?" Sam queried croakily, her throat tasted like something out of the bottom of a birdcage.

"How are you feeling this morning?" Janet asked placing her hand on her friends' arm, while checking the monitors beside her.

"Um…a bit confused actually." Sam replied hoarsely raising her hand to her forehead in an effort to rub the ache that seemed intent on rearing its ugly head once more.

"I'm not surprised, Sam.  You had us all worried there for a while.  How does the head feel?"  
  


"Like I have a little man playing hockey inside my brain." Sam replied in earnest rubbing the bridge of her nose. 

Trying to sit herself up fully, she was unprepared for the wave of nausea that followed. Ungracefully she fell back against the pillows, taking steady breaths to stop the bile rising in her throat.

"What did I say about taking it easy? Sam, you sustained a grade 3 concussion.  You know yourself what the after effects are. Nausea and headaches are just the mild symptoms. So, be a good patient and lie back down. I don't want you moving around too much at least not for another 24 hours"

Sam tried to open her mouth in protest, but unfortunately Janet wasn't having any of it. "Hon, don't even try and pull that Colonel O'Neill stunt on me. I am too well versed in all things 'sneaky'. 

"I was just going to say..."

"Yes, well save it. Sweet-talking won't work with me. Besides, in a couple of hours you will probably get a rush of visitors, and they won't be impressed if you're too tired to speak to them. For 4 days they worked their asses of trying to get you back. So, the courteous thing you can do, is stay awake while they tell you about their efforts." Janet admonished softy, grateful just as much as the others that her friend was okay.

Rolling her eyes, Sam replied, "I know, it's just that for 4 days I was stuck on that ship alone, with only my imagination for company. I just want to be able to get back to normal."

Sitting on the bed beside her, Janet reached out for her hand. "I know what you must've gone through was rough..."

"You don't understand, Janet."

Janet looked at her questioningly, "What do you mean?"

"Never mind." Sam answered hurriedly; she knew that she could trust Janet with anything, but how could she tell her that her feelings for her CO were more than professional. She knew that Janet had an inkling about what her relationship was with the Colonel, but she'd never come out and actually asked her about it.

"Sam, I'm not just your doctor. I would hope after all these years you'd be able to tell me anything." Janet replied a little hurt that Sam felt she couldn't confide in her.

"I know that Janet and normally I would, but I can't talk to you about this." 

"Sam…"

"Janet, please."

"Okay. I can't force you, Sam, but it's going to come out sooner or later."

Rubbing her eyes, she replied tiredly "I know. Right now though I just need to sort it out in my own head." 

"All right, you know where I am if you need me. Try and get some sleep and I'll come see you later."

Nodding slightly, Sam slid down under the covers pondering about ***how*** she would deal with things, but for now, sleep was beckoning. Closing her eyes once more, a gentle child like singing played in her mind and she bolted upright. Her chest felt tight due to the unexpectedness of the tune.

Panic began seeping through at the thought that this shouldn't have been happening; she was home…wasn't she? Or was *this* another hallucination? Confusion began to mingle with nervousness; maybe this was someone playing mind games with her? All she knew was - it scared her. In response, her heart race increased dramatically causing the alarms on the monitors to activate. Janet rushed back in response, concern filtering through her eyes.

"Sam, what's wrong? Are you in pain?" Seeing the shock in her friends face and the pallor that accompanied it, she feared that her friend was hurting. "Sam! Talk to me."

Sam closed her eyes in effort to shake of the memory or the song, whichever worked. That damn song had plagued her for days and now even when she was back with reality it continued to haunt her. Part of her wondered if she was loosing her mind, the other half of her thought that there were still things she had to sort through, before she could move on with her life. Whatever it was she couldn't let Janet know, otherwise she'd never let her leave the infirmary.

"Sam!"

"Sorry Janet, I guess I moved to fast. It won't happen again." She lied.

Staring at her, she wasn't convinced that Sam was telling the truth, but she decided to let it go for the moment. "Something's going on inside that head of yours Samantha Carter and when I figure it out, you and I are going to have a long chat. Understand?"

"Yes, Janet." Sam replied monotone before manoeuvring herself back under the covers. 

After Janet left, Sam closed her eyes and waited for sleep to come.

A couple of hours later Janet came to check on her, monitoring her vitals closely, her heart rate was still high, but not as before. Janet knew she was dreaming, and whatever it was about, she didn't think that they were pleasant judging by her friend's facial expression. Sighing deeply, she left her to sleep. At the moment it was the only thing she could do. 

*******

Strolling down the light grey corridors of the SGC, Colonel Jack O'Neill walked casually towards the infirmary to see his favourite 2IC, who was back here safe and sound at the SGC and exactly where she should be. Cocking his head to one side, the thought stopped him momentarily putting him off his stride. He had no idea why he thought it, but it made him smile. He'd missed her techno-bable and the casual way she walked beside him on away missions, but most of all he'd missed her; all of her.

The job would be tedious and un-rewarding without her and if they hadn't found her in time, he had no misconceptions that he would've retired and spent the rest of his days looking for her…alone if necessary. A little voice inside his brain was saying, "Okay, Jack. Time to get things in perspective and put those thoughts out of your mind... she's home and she's safe. A dark thought kept creeping through his mind saying, "It could happen again" and he didn't know how he would cope a second time. 

One thing was certain; he couldn't imagine his life without her. Quickening his pace slightly, he wasn't sure that he was in the right frame of mind to see her. His emotions were all over the place and he didn't doubt for one minute that hers weren't either.  Hearing her say "Jack" last night had thrown him off balance. He didn't know what happened on board the Prometheus, but he sure as hell wasn't going to give up until he found out.

He knew she would have to write a report up soon enough, but he also knew from first hand experience that not 'everything' went into the official reports. Smiling at the memory, his thoughts took him back to the time Teal'c and him had time-looped; when he had held her in his arms and kissed her so passionately. The best thing about it was, she'd reciprocated; and he knew then, that she had felt the same way about him.

Snapping himself back to reality, he suddenly found himself at the infirmary doors. Walking in, the first thing he noticed was the quietness. There didn't seem to be the usual hustle and bustle like he had come to know, mind you, the only time his team were likely to catch him in here was either on a stretcher or visiting one of his team-mates; like now. Janet seemed to have her head in some medical file, which was probably Sam's and the nurses seemed to be doing some inventory in the corner of the room.

With only one bed occupied, he walked over to where she lay and thought for a moment she was reading on her side, but the closer he got, realisation hit him that she was still asleep. Quietly pulling up a chair so not to disturb her, he noticed the frown lines crease her forehead and it concerned him; he'd never known Carter to have nightmares, not that she would tell him. Sometimes though he wanted her to confide in him.

 Every day at work they would lay their butts on the line for each other and he knew her intimately. How she thought, what her actions were likely to be in any given military situation, because he trusted her and she trusted him. It was only at times like these that he realised; there was a hell of a lot of things he didn't know about her and it saddened him.

Sitting here watching her sleep made him feel a bit awkward at first. If anyone came in and found him sitting beside her for the second time on the run, they might come to the wrong conclusions. //Oh what the hell do I care// he mused. //She's a member of my team and she's injured. No explanation necessary, he'd do it for any member of his team. The number of times Daniel had been injured and he had sat with him. Admittedly not through the night, but he had been there, it was why they were all close. It was an unspoken bond between them; it was the reasons why they looked out for each other. After 7 years of being with a team, you grew attachments and this was all this was; a professional attachment// and this is what he would tell himself over and over until it became believable.

Her once flawless face seemed filled with anguish as her eyelids moved rapidly, he assumed from entering REM sleep. Whatever she was dreaming, it wasn't happy. Her legs moved restless under the covers, as her agitation seemed to grow increasingly by the minute. He hated seeing like this.

Silently he moved closer to her in an attempt to waken her from her bad dream, "Carter." He whispered gently. Still no response, he tried again, "Carter, you're having a bad dream. It's time to wake up."

Instead of soothing her, the sound of his voice seemed to increase her agitation. Looking round for one of the nurses, he'd noticed the only nurse on duty seemed to be in deep conversation with Doc Frasier in her office. "Great, just great!"

Seeing that she wasn't going to waken with subtle intervention he placed his hand on her arm, rubbing it gently to try and wake her, "Sam, come on. Time to come back to the land of the living." Rolling his eyes he realised it must be one hell of a dream. Raising his voice a notch he persisted, "Sam."

Within seconds, her eyes opened quickly and for split second her eyes reflected fear and sadness rolled into one.

"Sir." Sam responded shakily, "What…where…?"

"You were having a bad dream." Jack replied awkwardly.

Breathlessly she replied, "I was on the ship and you were there and…"

"…There's no place like home." Jack smiled trying to ease her panic. He really wanted to know *what* he was doing in her dreams, but he didn't like the fact that he was the cause of her pain. Trying to lighten the moment he continued, "Carter, I'm sorry that my imaginary self upset you in any way."

Sam didn't respond in the way he expected though and for a moment he thought she was about to cry, panicked by this he raised his arms up defensively, "Oh crap, carter. I didn't mean to upset you."

Wiping her eyes, she replied, "It's not you, sir. It's just…"

"What?"

Taking a deep breath, she felt so tempted to tell him everything, but what would she say, "I love you, sir and I hate the fact that we can't be together?" It just wasn't something that she could just come out and say. Or should she tell him, that she felt as if he'd just let her go, without fighting for her?

Everything that had happened over the last few days had left her with mixed emotions and she wasn't used to having to face them…head on. For years she'd put her love life on hold for him, hoping that they could eventually be together. Hell she'd offered to give up her career for him…and he'd told her that, he'd never ask her to give up her career for him. So where did that leave her? Lost? Confused? Hurt… 

"It's just this damn headache." Sam replied, smiling sadly, "It doesn't seem to want to leave me, that's all. I'm sorry if I worried you, sir." Sam lied, pushing her feelings towards the back of her mind.

"You want me to get the Doc?" 

"No." Sam replied hurriedly, "Um...no thanks, sir. It'll pass." The last thing she wanted was for Janet to be asking questions.

"Well…um, okay, if you're sure. I'll let you get some rest for a bit then, unless you want me to stay?"

"I'd like that, sir, but…"

Replying quickly he said, "No sweat, Carter. That nail in the head thing really packs a punch, I'll let you rest up for a bit." Getting up from his seat, he felt the strongest urge to hold her hand and give it a quick squeeze, bit just like always, he resisted; instead tapping the bed slightly; his fingers just brushing hers for an instant, before he quickly pulled them away. 

"Take it easy, Carter." Jack replied in earnest, giving her one last nervous smile before leaving.

Letting out a small groan she exhaled deeply, //Great Sam, just great. He's going to think your turning into a basket case// Sitting herself up gingerly, she had a compelling urge to escape the SGC for a while and hoped that Janet would be willing to let her rest at home. It had been nearly 48 hours since she had got back and she had no compelling desires to stay a minute longer than she had to.

Swinging her legs round so that they tangled off the side of the bed, she felt a wave of dizziness wash over her for a moment.  Grabbing the handrails for support, she took a few deep breaths to settle her equilibrium. It would not be an effective way to get Janet to release her if she passed out there and then. Realising that she was still connected to the heart monitor, she looked around for sign of any nurses walking around; seeing that there weren't any she carefully peeled off the probes from the upper part of her chest and disconnected the probe from her finger.  As soon as she felt confident to make the walk over to Janet's office, she tentatively placed her feet firmly on the floor, taking her hands off the side of the bed.  Smiling at her small accomplishment she walked cautiously towards her friend's office and knocked on the door.

Janet's face told a thousand words; she was not happy! Before Sam had the chance to open her mouth, Janet placed her hands on her hips, "What are you doing out of bed? Did I not say 'Complete bed rest?' I swear to god, that you're turning into Colonel O'Neill. You never used to be this much trouble." Janet continued to rant, and whoa betide you if you tried to utter a sound while she was on a role.

Sam though just wanted out and at that moment didn't care how much of a back lashing she got, "Janet, I'm ready to go home. I feel fine. Please Janet, I can rest at home just as much as I can here on the base."

"You're telling me that you're fine? Not content with being an Astrophysicist, you went out and got your Doctors degree to?"

"Janet, please. I'm begging you. I'll be good as gold, I promise."

"Why the rush?"

"What?"

"Why do you want to leave the SGC so quickly? It would normally take an order from the Colonel to make you leave."

Sam really didn't have a good reason for wanting to go, she just couldn't face seeing 'him' again at the moment, and decided that she would allow her friend to know part of the reason. "I just need some time by myself, that's all. Things happened on the Prometheus and I need to sort out a few things…for myself."

"Sam, I'm worried about you. Sit down." Janet cajoled, noticing that her pallor was becoming whiter, the more they talked. Watching her friend closely, she realised that Sam was not going to be very forthcoming, but it was up to her to find out the reasons why her friend seemed determined to leave the base. "I'll tell you what, Sam. I'll let you leave the base…"

"Thank you, Janet. I promise I'll behave."

"Hang on a second Sam." Janet said as her friend went to get ready to leave. "There are conditions."

Sam knew this was coming; there were always conditions.  Sitting back down she turned to face her friend, "Okay, I'm listening."

"Well as Cassie is away on a school trip for the next few days, I want you to come and stay with me.  I have some leave due, and I can make sure you do as your told in the process."

"How long are we talking about?" Sam asked, realising that this would be the only way out.

"Three or four days, that's all I'm asking."

"Okay, but after that I'm going home."

"Good.  Well my shift finishes in a few hours, so why don't you have quick nap or read for a bit and I'll shout you when I'm ready to leave."

"Can I go grab a shower?"

"You have 30 minutes.  If you're not back by then, I'll be sending out the SF's, understood?"

"Yes mom!"

Leaving a smiling Doctor Frasier to get on with the mass paperwork that seemed to be getting as much as the Colonel's, Sam bid her goodbye and went to collect her things for a much welcomed shower.

Instead of walking towards the shower room as she'd planned, she found herself standing outside the office of her commanding officer. She didn't know why she'd gone to see him it wasn't as if she planned it, but here she was. Sam didn't know whether to knock on the door and let him know everything, or leave things as they were. Shifting from one foot to the other, her hand hovered slightly over the door preparing to knock. Then having seconds thoughts she quickly brought her hand down to her side, quietly berating herself for being such a coward.

Silently she kept telling herself to walk away, but she'd never walked away from anything in her life. Sam didn't know how long she'd been standing there when the door suddenly opened to reveal a very startled Jack O'Neill.

"Carter! What are you doing out of the infirmary?" Recovering his composure he continued with a grin, " Don't tell me, you've escaped the evil clutches of Doc Frasier? Tut tut, Carter, you're gonna be in trouble if she catches you."

Damn him for making her smile, Sam thought. "No, sir. She let me out for a few minutes to do some things."

"Oh right. So, you feeling better then?" Jack asked, but not quite convinced that she'd be honest with him.

" A bit, sir thanks. Um…about before, I didn't mean to sound as if I was pushing you away. It's just that…" Sam stumbled, trying to find the right words

"I know."

"You do?" Sam asked surprised

"Sure I know. Did you think I wouldn't?"

"I wasn't sure."

"Carter, believe me, I so know how you feel."

"You do?" Sam replied quickly, not believing her ears. Suddenly she felt as if her face was on fire, and she tried hard to control her breathing.

"Of course I know, I felt the same."

At this point Sam's brain started to become confused, and she'd thoroughly lost the thread of the conversation. She wasn't even sure that they were talking about the same thing anymore. Suddenly she became very tired, and the headache that had slowly abated early began to resurface with full force.

"Sir, I don't mean to sound 'dense', but what are you talking about?"

"Concussions. When I had a severe concussion a few months back, and I was a little testy for a while, but…" Seeing the lost look in her eyes, sudden realisation hit him that there were having completely different conversations. Hesitantly he asked her, "Isn't that what you were talking about?"

Before Sam had the chance to answer him, she heard footsteps rounding the corner, and an irate doctor came storming up to them, with hands on hips. "Ahem!"

Jack tried to maintain his composure, he knew that look, he'd seen it many times, especially when he'd gone against doctors' orders. Seeing the dejected look on his 2IC's face he whispered, "Don't worry, her barks worse than her bite, she's just worried about you."

Turning to face her, she felt like a kid who'd just been caught with her hand in the cookie jar, "Sorry, Janet. I was just saying goodbye to the Colonel. I wanted to let him know that I was staying with you for a few days."

"You did?" Jack queried making a face. Then seeing Sam's pleading looks he continued hurriedly, "Yes of course you did. Well, you two have a nice time. Carter, I hope you follow the docs advice, take things easy and I'll see you in a few days."

"A week!" Janet advised crossing her arms in front of her.

"A week?" Jack and Sam responded in unison, then looked at each other immediately after, a strange look passing between them.

The look didn't go unnoticed by the CMO and it was something she would be discussing in great detail with her friend over the next few days.

Jack recovered first, "A week!" Silently Jack hated the thought that he wouldn't see her for a week, she'd been lost for days and now he wouldn't see for a week! Remembering that he still had company, he put his thoughts and feelings to one side before finishing, "Well I'm sure we'll manage without you for a little while, Carter."

Seeing the questions and curiosity burning in his eyes as to why she had come to see him in the first place, she replied simply, "I'm sure you will, sir. Well, I um…I better get going then."  

"Yeah, I'll...um, catch you later then?" Jack replied with uncertainty.

"Bye, sir." Sam said sadly.

With a slight wave of his hand, Jack watched as they disappeared around the corner. Returning back to his office, his first thoughts were, "What the hell was that all about?" Their whole conversation had been confusing; he'd thought she was talking about being testy with him in the infirmary.

Thinking about it now, he really didn't think that, that was what it was, and now he'd have to wait for a whole week to find out. //Mind you, you could always visit// Jack thought optimistically, bringing on happier thoughts.

End of Chapter 2.

   
  



	3. Trust and friendship

Okay peeps, I kinda got carried away again, but then you knew it was going to happen sooner or later, didn't you. Hehehe :O)

Anyway I'll keep this brief, thanks for all your reviews, they are much appreciated.

Spoilers: There are a few here, some from Solitudes, 100 days, Divide and Conquer and Grace are the only ones, I think.

Rating: PG 13

Stargate: It isn't mine, but then I'm an eternal optimist and plan to win the lottery very soon.

Warnings: For those with small bladders…now is the time to pee :O)

**Chapter Three – Trust and Friendship**

Walking into the kitchen with a cup of coffee nestled in her hands, Sam watched as Janet prepared supper. The house seemed so quiet without Cassie's normally exuberant voice drifting through the various rooms. Janet was busy preparing a stir-fry for them and had ordered her to take it easy on the couch in the front room, with strict orders to take it easy. One thing that Samantha Carter was never fond of doing, was taking it easy; she hated that phrase. Janet was so involved with her cooking that she didn't even hear Sam come in. As the food sizzled in the wok, Janet obliviously started humming to the background music playing on the radio. Turning round to get some vegetables from the fridge she spotted Sam standing by the doorway with a far away look in her eyes.

"Hey, I thought you were supposed to be resting on the sofa?" Janet enquired casually.

"I got bored, so thought I'd see what you were up to."

"Fed-up with your own company already? That's not like you."

"I know.  I guess I'm just still out of sorts." Sam replied honestly, pulling a chair out from under the table and sitting down. With her hand resting on her head, Sam stared at the cup of piping hot coffee laid out in front of her.

"You ready to talk about it?" Janet asked turning off the stove, and pulling up a chair beside her best friend.

Sam's eyes began filling with unshed tears and with embarrassment at letting her guard down, she quickly began wiping them as they precariously fell from her cheeks. "I'm so sorry, Janet. I don't know what's wrong with me these days."

Placing her arm round her shoulder, Janet pulled her closer to her enveloping her in a hug; something that she knew her friend desperately needed.

"Oh, Sam. When are you going to give yourself a break?  You're not superwomen you know. You've been through an ordeal that would have anyone on edge." She replied, now looking directly at her, her hands still resting on Sam's shoulder.

Taking a deep breath inward Sam asked, "So when do I start feeling better? I've been back now nearly four days and I still feel…"

"Feel what?" Janet broached gently.

"Lost!" It was a simply word, but so poignant to how she felt.  She didn't know why she felt lost, only that she did. 

"It's going to take time, don't forget that you're still recovering from a nasty concussion, Sam.  That can take a long time to get over, and can leave you feeling a bit…lost."

"Janet, I've had concussions before and never felt like this afterwards." Sam advised her; recalling the dreams that plagued her night and the haunting voice that crept into her conscious mind when she was awake. 

"Sam, this wasn't just a case of 'simple concussion', there were other factors involved. When you have a head injury certain, images, sounds and situations can affect how much trauma is placed on the brain. If you are under stress or having to cope with keeping yourself alive, these things can have an effect on your body for a long time after the injury to the brain has been healed. Every person is different, and every knock on the head is different. This one might just take a while to recover from, but you will be fine, I promise you.  What you're feeling is natural, so is talking; something you've done little of these last couple of days. To be honest, Sam, we've all been a little worried."

"All?" 

Getting up to make herself a coffee, Janet turned her back on her friend as she began pouring the coffee from the peculator into her mug.

"Janet? What do you mean by 'All'?" Sam asked suspiciously, a hint of anger began simmering inside as she wondered whom else her friend had talked to.

"Just Colonel O'Neill." Janet replied softly.

"You talked to the Colonel about me? Janet how could you! You know how I…"

"How you what? How you feel?"

"Janet, that's not fair."

"Sam." Janet said, speaking softly, moving back towards her friend who appeared to be growing angrier by the minute. "I'm not blind. I've known for a long time how you feel about him and I know that it's something you've been denying to yourself for a very long time. I'm sorry, Sam, but there are some things that you can bury deep inside you, or push them to one side in the hope that they won't come back and bite you in the butt. ***BUT***, there are some things that will always creep up towards the surface…and like it or not you are going to have to face these feelings head on and deal with them directly, otherwise they'll tear you apart." Janet replied honestly.

Ever since Jack had gone missing on Edora, she'd begun to suspect that Sam's feelings for her C.O had been more than professional. Realisation of her suspicions had been confirmed a few years ago after they had been tested with the Tok'ra mind probe, but this had been the first time that she'd told her friend exactly how much she knew about the situation.

Covering her face, Sam had never felt so mortified in her life.  Out of all the things her and Janet had shared over the last 7 years, never once had she broached this subject with her. It was something that Sam had to keep to herself.  Janet wasn't only her friend, she was her doctor to and she knew that it could ultimately compromise her position within SG-1 and she hadn't wanted to put Janet in that position. 

"I can't believe you spoke to the Colonel about me."

"He rang this morning." Seeing the distraught look on her face she continued, "Sam, he was worried about you and wanted to check that you were alright."

"Does he know…?" Sam asked gingerly, not looking directly at her

"No, of course not. It's not my place to tell him, Sam…it's yours. That is, IF you ever tell him."

"So ***what*** did you tell him?"

"I just told him, that you seemed a bit quiet, that you hadn't been sleeping well and that you had some things to sort out."

"Oh, great, Janet. Now he's going to think I'm a nut case.  I'm due back in work next week, how the hell am I going to face him now."

"Sam, he's your friend, he was worried about you. I think you're over-reacting."

"Janet, you don't understand." Sam replied sadly, fiddling with her cup of coffee.

"Sam, what actually happened on board the Prometheus?"

"I don't want to discuss it, Janet." Sam retorted, getting up from the kitchen table.

Grasping her arm, so she couldn't retreat, Janet continued, "Sam, listen to me.  I know that you might not want to talk about, but I'm afraid you're going to have to otherwise I won't have any alternative, but make arrangements for you to see Dr McKenzie."

"I can't believe this. You call yourself my friend and here you are, ready to betray me and our friendship." Sam stated bitterly. The anger that had been bubbling quietly like a volcano was beginning to erupt and it was all directed at her best friend.

"It's not like that, Sam. I'm not just talking about your feelings towards the Colonel. I'm talking about the nightmares and the fact that you go off into your own little world when people are talking to you. What do you want me to do, Sam? Say that you're fit enough to return to work? I can't do that.  Whatever happened to you on board the Prometheus is ***still*** affecting you, and I don't mean just the remnants of the concussion, it goes deeper than that. There are issues that you need to work out, before I'll let you return to work."

Sitting back down, she watched quietly as the tears fell onto her hands spilling down on to the hard surface of the table, she didn't even bother this time to wipe away. She so desperately wanted to talk to Janet about things, but didn't know where to start. Janet had been right about everything so far and it proved just how close their friendship had become. 

In her mind, she knew Janet would never report to the SGC about her feelings towards her CO, but her hallucinations and nightmares since she returned could effectively keep her from returning to the job that she lived for. The SGC was her life and over the last few days she'd felt as if everything had been slipping away from her.  Janet was right, she had grown distant from the world, but all her concentrated efforts had been placed on keeping the hallucinations at bay.

"Please, Sam, let me help you."

Pondering on whether to tell her, she knew that she would have to if she were to return to work. Wiping the last remnants of unshed tears from her eyes, she took a steadying breath - exhaling slowly in an effort to control her emotions.

"I don't know where to begin." Sam said softly.

"Why don't you start after you regained consciousness and go from there?" Janet suggested squeezing her friend's hand in an effort to ease her friend's pain - waiting patiently for her friend to begin.

"When I tried to get some of the systems back online on board the Prometheus, I started having hallucinations, first there was this little girl. When I saw her I didn't know what to think, I thought she was real, but then she disappeared and I didn't think anything more of it, but she kept coming back time and time again talking in riddles. Then, when I was sat at one of the workstations, Teal'c grabbed my hand and told me "If you sleep, you will die!" And to be honest, it scared me. When I met him later on, he told me that I was being kept prisoner and that the Aliens were probing my mind. At that point I didn't know what to think."

Taking a shaky breath she continued. "Then Daniel arrived and said that he was part of me – my subconscious mind or something like that and saying that he wanted me to talk to the cloud, because he believed that the girl was a physical manifestation of the it and I started to get confused. I mean, there I was alone aboard an abandoned ship, stuck in a gaseous nebula and I was seeing my friends appear one by one. To top it all off, I was talking to them like they were actually there.

Janet interjected advising, "It's not un-common, Sam.  You sustained a nasty concussion; it's possible that in your mind you knew that if you slept, you could have died. You probably envisaged Teal'c because he has a strong sense of self to survive and he brings out those instincts in you."

"And Daniel?"

"Well." Janet said aloud trying to sort things in her own mind. "You and Daniel are very much alike. Daniel is an explorer and an anthropologist, plus he questions everything! You have the same enquiring mind, Sam. Think about it, your primary mission was to observe the Nebula, but because the ship was abandoned, you had to put your project to one side and Daniel was there to remind you of that to look at all possibilities."

"Okay, I can see your reasoning, but my dad?"

"Jacob was there?"

Sam nodded, "Yep, he talked to me about my love life…or lack thereof."

"Oh."

"Yeah, that was my first impression too." Sam remembered, shuddering at the thought.

"So what did he say?" Janet asked tentatively.

"He asked me if I was happy with my life and that he was sad because I hadn't found anyone to share my life with. He said I didn't have anyone in my life because I was frightened of being hurt by them. "

Janet's eyes widened at that statement. Then cautiously her eyes met Sam's and said, "He's right though."

"What do you mean?" 

"Well, how many relationships have you had, since joining the SGC? One? Two?"

"I've dated." Sam replied indignantly.

Janet gave her a sceptical look, she knew Sam had been out a couple of times with men, but the dates had never gotten past the initial stages and it had always been her friend who stopped the relationship going any further.

"Okay, so there haven't been many…" Sam replied honestly, "… but that doesn't mean anything. My job keeps me busy and it's not as if I can tell them what I do for a living."

"Sam, that's just an excuse for not trying."

Unexpectedly Sam let out a small laugh, which threw Janet off balance. "What's so funny?"

"Lets just say I said the same thing to myself."

Giving her a confused look, she asked, "And what about Colonel O'Neill?"

"Why would the colonel ask me about my love life?" Sam asked completely avoiding the question.

"That's not what I meant, Samantha Carter."

"It wasn't?" Sam replied knowing full well what Janet meant.

"I meant..." Janet started; spelling it out clearly to her friend so there could be no misinterpretation.

"I know what you meant Janet, you don't have to explain."

"Well?"

Before Sam had the chance to answer the doorbell rang. Getting up from the table, Janet groaned in silent protest as she went to answer the door.  Sam smiled inwardly, "Saved by the bell." 

Janet fumed silently at she strode purposely towards the front door annoyed that they had been interrupted. Angry thoughts mulled around in her mind, //It had better not be a sales man, or so help me I'll give them a piece of my mind// Sam's just starting to open up and I'm going to be severely ticked off if some bloke prattles on about some crappy brand new cleaning product.

Opening the door, she was surprised to see a tall grey haired man, standing there in jeans and a t-shirt; a baseball cap precariously positioned on the side of his head, carrying a box of chocolates and a bunch of flowers.

Just before Janet opened the door, Sam came out of the kitchen and had begun walking towards the living room, passing the front door as Janet opened it; ignoring whoever the caller was and settling herself down on the sofa.

Janet's face reflected complete surprise, "Colonel!"

"Hey Doc, I just stopped by to see how Carter was doing. Um…is she in?" Jack asked nervously, not sure if this was appropriate.

"Come in, sir. She's in the kitchen. We were just chatting."

"I didn't interrupt did I? I can always come back another time." Jack replied with uncertainty. If truth were known though, he probably would have rationalised everything and would've decided that this was a bad idea if Janet had asked him to come back later.

"No, sir.  Your timing couldn't have been more perfect in fact." Janet replied her brown eyes twinkling.

"Oh, well that's good then…isn't it?"

Janet nodded; her smile becoming wider as she turned her back on him and led him through the corridor towards the kitchen, calling out to her friend, "Sam, you've got a visitor."

"I'm in the living room, Janet.  Who is it?" 

"It's me."

"Sir! Um…what are you doing here?" Regretting her question she continued, "Sorry, sir, I didn't mean that to come out as if I didn't want you here. I just wasn't expecting visitors."

"Did I come at a bad time?"

"No, no. I was just…um…never mind.  Do you want a coffee?" Sam asked with slight nervousness.  Getting up from the sofa, she noticed a bunch of flowers in his hand; a hint of a smile played on her lips at the sweetness of the gesture.

"Please. Oh by the way, these are for you." Jack replied shuffling his feet.

Sam smiled softly, bringing the flowers up to her nose, she inhaled deeply taking in the pleasant aroma of the bouquet, she loved flowers especially when they were bought for her. Her gaze moved towards the Colonel's face and she flashed him a smile, "Thank you, sir.  You shouldn't have, but they're beautiful."

"You're welcome." Jack replied sincerely

Janet knowing that the two of them would probably want to talk advised them, "I'm just going out to get some milk.  Does anyone want anything?"

Sam screwed her eyes up at her friend with suspicion, but decided not to say anything.

"No thanks Janet, see you later."

Jack shook his head, and followed Sam into the kitchen, taking a seat at the nearby table, as Sam retrieved the mugs from the cupboard.

"So, how are you?" Jack asked softly

"I'm fine thanks, sir." Sam lied, pouring the coffee. "How's work?"

"Fine."

"Good, so everything's…"

"Fine."

"Fine." Both replied simultaneously, before an uncomfortable silence settled between them.

"Um, the reason I came to see you was, Janet said…"

"You want it in a mug or cup?"

"Mug, please."

"So, anyway, I came because…"

Quickly changing the subject, Sam asked, "You want milk or cream?"

"Milk, please. Um...as I was saying, Janet said that you were..."

"Sugar or sweetener?" Sam continued trying to hold off from answering his questions as much as possible.

"For crying out loud, Carter.  Forget the coffee. Tell me what's going on?" Jack replied, his agitation increasing.

"Nothing's going on, sir. I'm just making coffee." Sam answered sweetly, too sweetly; even to her own ears, she noticed how sickly it sounded.

"Now I know something's going on. You want to talk about it? Does it have to do with you coming to see me a few days ago? I know you tried to tell me something on the base." Jack replied awkwardly shifting in his seat. At this moment he didn't know what to think. He'd never seen Sam this nervous before. It was clear though that she wasn't going to bring up the conversation anytime soon, and it was at that point he knew he'd have to do it.

Watching her come over to him, he watched as she placed the coffee near his hands, but her eyes never met his. Pulling up a chair she sat opposite, cradling her coffee as if it were a lifeline.

"So?"

"So."

"Is this how it's going to be from now on? You and me speaking in single word sentences?" Jack asked looking directly at her, hoping that she would meet his gaze, so that he could read her better.

"No, of course not." Sam replied with a slight edge to her voice. 

"Good. So you mind telling me what's going on in that head of yours?"

"What has Janet told you?" Sam asked cagily.

"Never mind what the Doc's told me.  I want you to tell me." Jack retorted trying to hold on to his temper. 

Sam closed her eyes in silent protest, she wished Janet were here. One thing she knew for certain was, she wasn't ready to tell him how she felt.  Ultimately he'd told her that he'd never ask her to resign from the Air Force, so what would be the point of her telling him…there wasn't one. 

"The reason I came to see you was to thank you."

"Thank me? What for?"

"You helped me while I was on the Prometheus, made me realise a few things."

"What? What are you talking about? I wasn't on board the Prometheus."

"Not you, sir. It was a hallucination."

"Ah…I see." Jack stated slowly.

"Really?" Sam asked in surprise, hell, she never expected it to be easy.

"NO!" Jack answered shaking his head emphatically.

"No? Right, didn't think so. Um…well let's just say that I had a problem that I couldn't deal with by myself and you helped me find the solution." Sam replied cryptically.

"Really? Wow I'm good." Jack smiled.

Seeing her CO smile, made Sam smile in return; a little giggle escaped from her lips as she watched her CO's grin escalate into a beaming smile, his clear brown eyes twinkling. It was a good feeling; something that she hadn't felt in some time.

Turning serious once more, he asked gingerly, "That doesn't explain the nightmares though, does it?"

Sam looked down at the table, she really didn't want to talk to him about this stuff, but she also knew that he wouldn't drop it until she threw him a bone. "I wouldn't call them, nightmares, sir, they're just dreams that aren't very pleasant."

"That's just semantics, Carter."

"I know, I just feel weird talking to you about this, I mean you're my CO." She replied honestly, she owed him that much.

"I would hope I'm more than that, Sam." Jack replied using her first name to help ease the tension, she must've been feeling.

Her eyes broke away from the table and for the first time since they had started talking she finally met his gaze.  For a few seconds, no words were necessary as his eyes revealed that he understood what she was going through.

Jack was torn between friendship and duty, he wanted her to know that she could tell him anything; they had been through so much. He couldn't imagine her not being able to talk to him honestly. Deep down though he also knew that their relationship went far beyond friendship, but it was something that they could never discuss, but one day he hoped he could let her into his heart so that she would know just what she meant to him.

Clearing his throat he continued, "So, what about these un-pleasant dreams?" Jack asked with a hint of a smile.

"It's not just when I'm asleep though, that's the problem."

"Oh." Was just about all he could muster, before sudden realisation came crashing down on his head. "Oh!"

"Indeed." Sam replied stoically, mimicking Teal'c.

"So what did Janet say?"

"Nothing." Sam replied quietly.

"Nothing? I don't believe that, she would've hauled your ass..."

"I haven't told her." Sam replied in earnest, protecting her best friends reputation.

"Why the hell not, Sam. Concussions are not something you want to mess with, believe me."

"I don't think it's the concussion." Sam told him nervously.

Jack got up from his seat and moved to sit next her, "Sam, did I ever tell you about the time I was held in an Iraqi prison?"

"No you didn't. You told me that your parachute had failed and that you'd hurt yourself badly." Sam recalled, remembering their time in Antarctica.

"Yeah, well there were a few things I didn't tell you."

Sam turned her body round so that they were face to face, it wasn't often that they shared their innermost thoughts or backgrounds, and she felt privileged that he would share his darkened past with her, and it proved just how much he trusted her.

"After my chute failed I was injured quite badly. I don't remember how long it was before I was captured, it could have been hours or days… Anyway, I sustained a bad head wound and kept drifting out of consciousness."

Sam nodded in understanding, her eyes never leaving his face.  Watching the tension in his body caused her heart to go out to him and she knew that this wasn't easy for him.

"When they captured me, they tortured me; used devices to gain information about our location and stuff. I remember willing myself to stay awake. I thought that if I fell asleep I'd die."

Sam took a shaky breath, everything he was saying sounded so familiar, and she'd never felt as close to him as she did then.

"After a while I started to hallucinate. People I knew, my friends and family kept coming to me and talking to me, and I swear they seemed as real as anyone flesh and blood person.  Know what I mean?"

Sam nodded emphatically recalling how life like all her friends was to her.

"Well this went on for a few days, I thought I was losing my mind. Even after I was rescued and for days after I got out of the hospital, I swear I could still see them.  Sometimes it would be just out of the corner of my eye or I would just hear soft whispers."

"How long before they went away?" Sam asked quietly.

"A few weeks. It took me a while to tell the docs about it, but you know what?"

"What?"

"He told me that it was normal to experience something like that, it's the bodies own defence mechanism apparently. It'll take time for you adjust, Sam, but I promise you it will get better. You just have to remember that you don't have to do everything on your own. Let us help you, talk to us."

"I thought you would all think I'd lost my mind."

Smiling, Jack replied, "No more than the rest of us. So, you going to have a chat with the doc when she gets back?"

"I think I will." Sam answered confidently, standing up to put the dishes in the sink.

"Good." Looking down at his watch, he couldn't believe how long they'd talked. "Listen, I'm going to head off. Will you be okay till the doc gets back?"

"I'll be fine."

"See you in work next week?" Jack asked hopefully

"If I can escape Janet's evil clutches." Sam replied in jest.

Jack smiled, remembering their conversation in the hall of the SGC.  As he was leaving, he rubbed her back for a couple of seconds, it wasn't a big gesture, but it served its purpose. "You'll be fine."

Sam smiled in response. Opening the door, she watched as he began walking towards the car. Waiting until she couldn't see him anymore, she finally closed the door. Leaning against it, she felt a slight pressure push her forward, and moved out of the way.

"Hey, Sam.  Has the colonel just left?"

"You know he has, I bet you stood in the bushes and watched him go."

"No, I sat in my car and watched him go." Janet smiled mischievously. "So, hon, you feel better? Did you tell him anything?"

"Some, but not everything.  I will though, I promise, but when it's the right time."

"How will you know?"

"I'll know."

"Fair enough." Janet replied pulling her friend into a hug. "You want to continue our chat tomorrow?"

Nodding affirmatively against her friends shoulder, she felt like she'd run the gauntlet with her emotions. It had been a long and tiring day and Sam felt as if she were ready to hit the sack. "Thanks, Janet, for everything.  You're my best friend and I don't know what I'd do without you. Now though I've got to get some sleep."

"You're welcome hon, anytime." Janet replied warmly. "Sweet dreams."

"Fingers crossed." Sam answered taking herself off to bed.

End of chapter 3

Okay guys and gals…..go pee :O) then come back and tell me what you thought.


	4. Taking control

Spoilers: a few in here up to Season 7's Chimera.

Rating: PG15 - because it's a lil bit risqué, but not much, promise.

WARNING: Boyfriend alert and Pee warning of course.

Stargate isn't mine, because if it were, I would have Jack as Sam's boyfriend.

Chapter 4 - Taking Control

Samantha Carter lay awake, wondering if she should finally make an effort and get out of bed. A soft stream of light filtered into the bedroom through the muslin curtains warming her bare shoulders. Turning over to see the clock, she noticed that it was midday. A gentle tap on the door reminded her that Janet had probably been waiting patiently downstairs for her to surface.

"Sam, are you awake?" Janet asked softly opening the door slightly.

"Hey, Janet, come in."

Walking over to her friend, she laid a coffee on the side for her. Perching herself on the end of the bed, Janet waited for her friend to adjust herself to a sitting position.

"So, are you planning on getting up sometime today? Or have you taken refuge under your covers for the foreseeable future?" Janet enquired lightly.

Sam smiled softly in the dim light, then taking a sip of coffee she stated timidly, "I've been awake for a while, thinking about things."

"Sounds serious."

"No, not really. Lets just say that there are a few things in my life that I need to start taking control of."

"Wow, that must've been one hell of a talk you had with the colonel yesterday."

Sam nodded, keeping her eyes on the coffee nestled comfortably in her hand, the aroma of the freshly ground beans, seemed to fill the room. Inhaling deeply, she knew it was time for a bit of honesty with her friend, it had been too long in coming, and she didn't want her friend worrying needlessly anymore.

"Janet, I haven't been totally honest with you these last few days. I'm sorry."

"I knew you'd tell me when you were ready." Janet replied honestly taking her friend's hand and giving it a gentle squeeze of encouragement.

"Remember the little girl, I was telling you about?"

"What about her?"

"She was strange, she kept singing these nursery rhymes, 'Twinkle, Twinkle, little star,' and every time I saw her, she kept singing in riddles - confused the hell out of me. I didn't have a clue about what they meant."

"What sort of riddles?"

"I don't know, that's what's so frustrating. I only remember bits and pieces, but I think she helped me find the solution to get the Prometheus out of nebula. The more I think about it, the more I think it had to do with the Aliens."

"You think they sent her?"

"Honestly, I haven't got a clue. Part of me thinks it was them, but the other half of me thinks that it was me projecting her." Shaking her head, she swung her legs of the bed and walked over to grab her dressing gown, before sitting back down on the bed. "Oh, I don't know, Janet. When she talked to me, it seemed as if the riddles were helping me find the answers. The others coming to me I can understand now, but the little girl. Do you think it could have been the Aliens messing with my mind like Teal'c suggested?"

"It's possible, but what would they gain from it? Why not take you aboard their ship like the others?" Janet asked, recalling events that she had told her before.

"I don't know and it's frustrating the hell out of me."

"Sam, maybe you'll never find the answers. I wouldn't worry too much though, unless there's something else you're not telling me?"

"I still hear her. and sometimes out of the corner of my eye, I feel as if she's still watching me." Sam answered quietly keeping her eyes on anything, but her friend.

Without missing a beat, Janet asked calmly, "How often?"

Sam snapped her round to face her. There was no judgement, mistrust or anger in her friend's expression, only kindness and friendship reflected in her eyes. Sam felt herself smiling in spite of the seriousness of the conversation; she had found a true friend in Janet Frasier and she had never felt closer to her as she did just then. At this point she knew she could tell her anything; and she wouldn't be judged rightly or wrongly for her actions, she would simply listen and guide her.

"Not often, just every now and again, I'll hear her singing or she'll be there just out of the corner of my eye; smiling sweetly like she did on the ship."

"To be honest, Sam. I don't think it's anything to be concerned about. People who've sustained head injuries, particularly when they've lost consciousness can experience hallucinations for some time after. Remember what I said yesterday?"

Sam nodded listening intently.

"Well, every knock on the head is different as is every concussion. Now it's probably nothing to worry about, but I would like you to have another CAT scan done just to be on the safe side."

"Janet, I..."

"Ah! No arguments, Sam. As I said, it's just a precaution. If everything is clear, then I'll help you work through this. Chances are the hallucinations will disappear in time."

"That's what, Colonel O'Neill said."

Janet paused for a moment; she'd been waiting for her to bring this up. Thankfully, Sam had given her that opening. "Speaking of which. You never did get round to telling me." Janet smiled coyly.

"Janet."

"Oh come on, Sam. I'm a single mom with no love life. I need a bit of excitement."

"Wasn't it you who always told me that a girl should never kiss and tell."

"You kissed him? What was it like? Is he a good kisser?" Janet asked getting excited, her eyes growing wide with anticipation.

"Janet! I never said that I kissed him. It's just an expression."

"I know that look, Samantha Carter, so spill it!" Janet remarked, with hands on hips.

"Okay." Sam answered, raising her hands in surrender, "But you have to promise..."

"I promise." Janet replied quickly.

"I only saw him once. I'd all but given up. I couldn't think clearly.everything I tried didn't seem to be working. He sat down opposite me, and we started talking, just generally at first, but then he said something."

"What did he say?"

"He said, 'That's what friends are for' and I just said 'friends', like it was the worst thing in the world that he could've said."

"You were expecting something different?"

"Yes, no, oh I don't know. I told him that I would give up the Air Force if I knew."

"If you knew what? That he.loved you?" Janet broached carefully. Sighing softly, Sam nodded in response. "I didn't know you'd thought about it, Sam. I mean. I knew you had feelings for him, but I never knew that you'd contemplated giving up your career."

"I know, I know." Sam replied holding her hands up defensively. Deciding that she couldn't sit still any longer she began pacing the room, in an effort to rid herself of the nervous energy building inside her "I don't know what made me say it.no, that's not true, I do know why. I guess I wanted to know if he felt the same."

"And what did he say?"

"He told me that he'd never ask me to give up my career, that he was a safe bet and that as long as I'm setting my sights on something unattainable, I'm not risking anything."

"Because you're afraid of being hurt?"

"Partly. My track record isn't great, Janet. I was engaged to a control freak, the only people I've come close to having a relationship have died; Martouf, Narim, Orlin. I just sometimes feel as if I'm cursed, and I don't know how long I can go on... pretending that everything's okay."

"Pretending? What do you mean?" Janet asked, slightly confused.

"I mean, pretending that things would be different if I told him how I felt. Janet, for the last 7 years, I've been alone, because I thought maybe one day that 'things' would be different.but how much longer can I put my life on hold?" Sam answered sadly, flopping down on the bed, her energy reserves depleting rapidly.

"I can't answer that, Sam. I know he cares about you."

"Does he?" Sam enquired, her face revealing uncertainty and insecurity. She honestly didn't know if he did or not. It had been so long since they had told each other openly how they felt to some degree, but that was three years ago and she honestly didn't know if he felt the same way anymore.

"Sam, how can you think he doesn't?" Janet asked incredulously. She couldn't believe that her friend would think otherwise

"He's never told me." Sam answered sadly. If he had, then she probably wouldn't be wondering so much.

"Have **you** told him?" Janet enquired with total sincerity.

"Good point."

"So. what now?"

"I start getting on with my life." Sam answered honestly and with more confidence than she felt.

"And what about you and Colonel O'Neill?" Janet broached softly.

Taking a steadying breath she placed her hands firmly on her hips, and replied with more conviction than she felt. "We carry on as we did before; he's my superior officer and I'm his 2IC. Nothing will change as long we're serving together and until it does.well, I have to get on with my life."

"Just like that?" Janet asked with uncertainty. She'd known, Sam for a long time and knew just how stubborn she could be once she'd set her mind to something. It was just a shame that it had come to this.

"I have to try, Janet." Sam answered honestly.

"Well, I'll be here for you, Sam." Janet told her sympathetically, giving her hand one last squeeze. "In the mean time, time for you to get up and get yourself ready. You and I have a date with a CAT scan."

"Today?"

"Yes." Janet responded simply. Standing up, she left her friend to it. The next few weeks were going to be unsettling for her friend, and she wanted to make sure she received all the help she needed to get her through the difficult times.

It had been nearly 3 weeks since Janet had given her the all clear, and her life certainly seemed to be improving by the minute. It was 7.30 am and the sun was shining outside; it looked certain to be another wonderful day. Sighing happily she watched the birds flying overhead, then swooping down on the sidewalk outside the coffee shop; even their simple chirping seemed to fill her with happiness. Yes, things were definitely improving in her life.

Janet and the Colonel had been right all along; the hallucinations had simply been a product of the concussion. Not long after her scan, the soft sounds of the young girl seemed to dissipate into the background until she could no longer hear her. Her injuries had all healed and she'd started to take control of her life once more; and it was all thanks to one man.

Settling down to drink her coffee, she pulled out her newspaper. Before she began reading, she felt someone standing over her.

"Is this seat taken?" The young man asks standing over her.

"No, but there are plenty other...tables." Sam answered, watching the man sit down opposite, a quizzical expression reflects in her soft features.

"Yes, but none of them have single, beautiful women sitting at them." He counters boldly, leaning back in his seat his eyes never leaving her face.

"Well, thank you, but how do you know I'm single?" Sam interjected.

"There's no ring on your finger." He observes, his eyes directing her gaze to her left hand.

"I could have a boyfriend."

"You're having coffee by yourself at 7.30 in the morning."

"You're very observant."

"I'm a cop!" The young man answers proudly, sitting up a little straighter.

"Well, I feel compelled to warn you, that most of the guys I've dated recently have died." Sam advises him, watching and waiting for some kind of reaction. Her insides began fluttering, wondering where this was going.

"As in."

"Dead!"

"How." The young man probes, searching her expression for truth, not quite sure if she's serious.

"Various circumstances." Sam responds casually.

"I'll risk it."

"How about dinner, tonight, my motel room."

"Your motel room?"

"I'm in town from Denver, on a case. We'll order room service, open a box of wine."

"A box."

"Something with a duck on the front."

Giggling, Sam found herself reaching out to him, pulling him closer, his lips brushing against hers as she kisses him tenderly. A twinkle escaped from her eyes, and she felt the corner of her mouth turn upwards, smiling at the joy of seeing him there. Disbelief that the feelings she has for him happened so quickly and she smiles again more fully this time; lost in the moment she can't believe that they'd only known each other for such a short time.

"Stop it, Pete."

Looking at her watch, she couldn't believe that they he was here with her. She didn't want to leave, but if she was going to sort out the mountain of paperwork on her desk she had to get going. Giving him one last look, she felt his lips brush against hers, and for the first time in her career she wanted to play hooky; and for a split moment contemplated phoning work to tell them she was sick.

Walking down the corridors with Daniel, Sam watched as Daniel, for the third time in as many minutes yawned. Rolling her eyes she told him, "At least **pretend** that it's interesting."

Covering his mouth over to escape the last remnants he replied, "Sorry, no it is interesting.go on."

Looking at him, she noticed that he was starting to get dark circles over his eyes, and with sisterly concern, she wanted to make sure he was okay.

Talking honestly with her, was never a problem, Sam was a great listener and he really felt he could open up, and would have had the lift doors not opened. Standing inside seemed a moody, Colonel O'Neill. From the looks of his face, Daniel suspected that he'd just heard something unpleasant, and didn't feel like getting involved. Making his apologees he turned and headed for the nearest coffee machine, desperately hoping that another 10 cups of coffee would keep him awake for the rest of the day.

Sam didn't know where to look, he looked.angry? No, not angry, maybe melancholy was the right word. Either way, he didn't look like the normal light-hearted Colonel that she'd talked to a few weeks ago. A sudden thought struck her.maybe he'd heard about Pete. Deciding it would probably best if she kept quiet, she casually pushed the button on the elevator and kept her back to him. Without a second thought she started humming to distract herself, hoping that he wouldn't ask her.

Casually he looked over at her, he wasn't sure what to say, part of him thought that he'd ask her outright, but then deciding against it, he kept quiet. Feeling the lift slowly descend, he couldn't believe how long it was taking to get from one floor to another; any other time he probably wouldn't have noticed it, but the lift suddenly felt claustrophobic and he felt an increasing urge to escape as soon as possible. Within a few seconds of those feelings emerging, he heard the unmistakeable sound of 'humming' and it threw him off guard for a second, he knew he wasn't 'humming' so that left.Carter! It was so un-Carter like, that he didn't know what to say.

Jack couldn't believe his ears, it was definitely her and he just had to ask. Turning to face her he enquired, "Humming?"

"I am?" Sam asked, feeling a bit awkward, she hadn't realised.

"You are!"

"Sorry." With arms folded she quietly berated herself for enjoying herself, Just keep your head down. Now she didn't know where to look, suddenly the floor looked very interesting.

Wrestling with his feelings, he had to ask her. The curiosity was killing him; he didn't want to know, but felt an overwhelming urge to sink under the metallic floor. "Okay, Jack...." he mused, "...on the count of three. Remember, nonchalant, casual enquiry, don't make it think like you've been thinking about her, since she got in the elevator." Looking directly at her he said aloud, "What's his name?"

"Now why would you.?" Sam replied quickly, out of all the things to come out of his mouth, she never expected him to come out and say something Damn him for being so observant.

"Humming!"

"Pete." Sam replied, a little to hastily, she had never felt so awkward as she did just then. It had been easier talking to Daniel; he'd been great, but the one thing she hoped she wouldn't have to do was talk to her CO about her new boyfriend.

"Pete."

"Pete Shanahan. He's a cop!"

"Speeding again are we?" Jack replied slowly; he wanted to be happy for her, but didn't know quite what to say. It was one of those feelings that you got when you'd break up with someone, and then find out there seeing someone else. You still love them, but you know it would never have worked out, for one reason or another.and it still hurts.

"He's from Denver, a friend of my brothers." She wasn't sure how much to tell him, but it had to be done. Quick and fast, Sam just like pulling off a plaster, the sooner you get it over with, the better

"A set up?"

"Pathetic, I know." As soon as the words came out of her mouth, she instantly regretted it. She sounded like some 'desperado' who needed to be set up by her brother, because she couldn't find someone herself. Sam knew it wasn't like that, but to hear it out loud.it bothered her.

"No, it's great."

"Really?" For an instant, she looked quickly back at her CO; she couldn't believe that he thought it was okay. Maybe he meant it? Her stomach flipped slightly at those words and in a heartbeat when she looked in his eyes, she saw.something lurking behind the mask that he so frequently put up. Regret? This confused her even further and she thought maybe he did care for her and this is why it hurt.

"Isn't it?" Jack queried, thoughts scattering around his brain, like a steamroller running off its tracks. She wasn't sure and it threw him off guard, maybe there was still a chance.

"Well, its not serious or anything." Sam replied hurriedly, looking directly into his eyes, wanting and needing to make it clear that this was nothing more than a casual fling. She didn't want to hurt him and yet she was, simply by talking about her 'Love life' to the man that she had loved and cared about for so long.

"Yet, it is hum worthy!"

"Sir..." Sam tried to explain, but the look on his face and the sadness in his eyes told her it was pointless.

"Well Carter, it's none of my business. I'm just happy that you're happy about something other than.'Quarks'!" Jack told her; babbling like a brook. He knew that if he didn't tell her he was happy, it would hurt her feelings. After all these years of caring for her, he couldn't stomp on her emotions like that; he didn't have the right. Instead he continued, "Not bad with 'Quarks'."

"Excellent!"

The elevator suddenly felt extremely claustrophobic as they both lapsed into silence, Jack didn't know where to look and Sam's stance revealed that she was feeling exactly the same.

And so it comes.that uncomfortable silence where you don't know what to say or where to lookHe hated it, he doubted that he could look her in the eye for fear of her seeing him without his mask; vulnerable and wounded, his heart torn apart in the fear that he'd lost her and might never get her back.

I hate this, when is this lift ever going to stop. Okay, don't look at him; it'll just make things worse. I've never felt so uncomfortable in my lifeSam thought. She hated this feeling and to make matters worse, she knew he was feeling exactly the same, which caused her even more anxious. Wrapping her arms even tighter around her chest, she concentrated on anything but the empty silence that filled the elevator. Guilt enveloped her, but she didn't know why, she thought she'd sorted all this out in her mind.maybe she was wrong.

"Bit uncomfortable isn't it?" Jack replied suddenly, unsure of what else to say.

"Yeah, a bit." Sam breathed heavily, the tension breaking just for a moment.

"Good luck." Jack told her, rushing out of the elevator; an overwhelming urge to get out of this facility was threatening to consume him.

"Thank you, sir." Sam answered grateful that he'd gotten off on that level. Breathing a sigh of relief, she watched as he began walking down the corridor and for a moment she forgot that she had to actually press the button to get the lift moving again.

Walking through the park, she felt so content; it had been a long time in coming. For the first time in years she felt like a lady. Her date with Pete had been nothing, but fun, something her life had been lacking in lately. Her dad had been right. She needed to do this, to feel special again, rather than just being the techno genius like she was in work; Dressing up, strolling along the park with a handsome man and enjoying herself without feeling guilty was something that she never thought would happen.

As they got to her house, Sam felt an electric surge inside her body; fear and uncertainty careered through her body. It had been so long since she'd dated, she felt uncomfortable, it was going to be the last time she saw him. Pete was due to return to Denver and she was going to be left alone once more, part of her didn't want him to leave, but the other half still held some uncertainty about their.relationship.

When he told her that he'd asked his Captain to stay for a few more weeks, Sam wasn't sure what to say. She'd had fun with him, but it was only intended to be something short and sweet, she never expected anything more from him. As Pete told her though, she thought she saw something else in his eyes; it seemed to him as if this wasn't some fanciful fling.

Pete wanted more, and Sam didn't know if she wanted to take it any further.and she hesitated. It was only briefly, but he picked up on her signals, and noticing her discomfort he backed off slightly.

Pete didn't know what to think, everything had been going so great, the whole date was a complete success and he couldn't believe that here he was with an attractive, intelligent women, whom he adored and she was backing off, saying something about getting up early; hell it was only 7pm and she was saying she was having an "Early night"! Something was definitely up, and he was determined to get to the bottom of it. Deep space telemetry wasn't normally something that you'd have to have an early night for.maybe the whole; "I'm staying a couple more weeks" had thrown her off balance? Whatever he was, he wasn't going to risk losing her.

A sudden thought struck him; she loved dancing, he'd learned that much after only being with her for a few hours and he knew just the place to take her. A nice secure comfortable environment where he'd not only make her relax, but he'd get to hold her close and then.who knows.

Smiling to himself he told her he'd see her later, kissing her goodbye he thought about his plans for the following evening, and he was certain that it would knock her off her feet.

Walking back into the house, Sam slipped off her shoes and headed for the kitchen; pouring herself a cup of coffee she walked over to the answer machine noticing that she had three messages. Perplexed as to whom they could be from, she sat down on the sofa, before switching on the answer machine.

Bleeping it stated in that quirky baritone voice, the machine advised, "You have three new messages."

A male voice was the first one she recognised, sing-songy at first, "Carter it's O'Neill, if you're screening, pick up. Carter, hellooo, anyone there?" A brilliant smile filled up her whole face and her eyes twinkled in anticipation. "Well, you're obviously not there, so there's no point in talking to this machine, I'll speak to you later."

Belaying that, that was the end of the message, Sam was curious as to what he wanted. It wasn't often he called her at home, and when he did, it usually involved work. Listening intently, the machine peeped again, this time it was Daniel, "Hey, Sam, listen, Jack was supposed to ask you if you wanted to come out for dinner with us, but he wouldn't leave a message."

In the background, she could hear him mumbling to someone else, but she couldn't quite figure out who it was. That was until she heard her CO say, "Tell her to meet at mine if she's back before 6." Sam giggled as she heard Daniel say, "I will, if you'd just shut up for a minute and let me speak!"

Hearing a struggle in the background, Daniel had obviously passed over the phone to her CO, who had apparently became annoyed with Daniel's communication techniques. "Carter, listen, we're having a Bar-B-Q at mine about 6pm, to try and cheer Daniel up. He's a bit...well you know." At this time, Sam was giggling away to herself at her CO's incessantness, then Daniel's indignant voice made her laugh even harder, "Hey I heard that!" Shaking her head at her friend's demise at having the Colonel cheer him up, she grinned as he finished, "If you can't make it, we'll see you in work tomorrow." Then the message ended, leaving a smiling Samantha Carter, wondering if it was too late to catch them up; before realising that it was gone 7. Disappointed, she sighed, it sounded as if they were having a good time, and she would have loved to hear Jack calming Daniel down, and knowing Teal'c who would've bought some rocky road; shame she'd missed it, pulling her legs up from the floor and tucking them under her legs, she waited excitedly to see who the other messages were from.

The third message was from Janet, asking about her date with Pete. It was funny, for a moment there she'd forgotten that she'd been out with him after hearing the message from Daniel and the Colonel. Realising it wasn't a good sign, she made a mental note to herself to ring Pete up and thank him, as well as apologise for her behaviour at the end of their date. She certainly didn't mean to back off, it was just the thought of getting heavily involved with someone straight away.it frightened her.

The last time she had been seriously involved with someone was with Jonas Hanson and she knew how well that turned out. It had been a difficult time when they'd split up and she'd handed the ring back. Initially he'd follow her and tried to get her to change her mind. When that hadn't worked, he used to leave a string full of messages on her cell phone or turn up at her door unannounced. It had been a bit creepy at first, but after a couple of weeks she'd had enough and confronted him about it. After that, things had settled down between them, allowing her to get on with her life, until they met up again on the planet where he nearly killed her.

For a while she had felt guilty that she hadn't seen it in him, before. But, that was a long time ago, she was a different women now, stronger, more capable. At the moment she was more interested in having fun than getting involved, but Pete obviously hadn't seen it like that. For a split second she felt guilty that she might have hurt his feelings. Pondering as to whether to ring him, she weighed up the pro's and con's, after a few minutes she decided against it, she didn't want to come across as needy and desperate, which is what she felt she would've come across as if she had phoned him.and that just wasn't who she was.

The next morning at work was just like any other, apart from Daniel falling asleep at the drop of a hat these days. She was starting to worry for her friend; it wasn't like him. The more she thought about it, the more convincing it became that something else was going on. Walking towards her front door, she noticed a letter and something lying on her front porch, getting closer, she realised they were flowers and a card. Smiling to herself, she opened the card, which read; "Dinner at 8, SURPRISES to follow, dress up!" Walking into her house with a spring in her step, she headed up for a shower.

The night had been fantastic, she couldn't remember when she's enjoyed herself so much, and Pete had been right, there were surprises.a night of dancing, laughter and good company and she was feeling sexy, flirty, exuberant and full of excitement, the only hard part of the night had been as they were slow dancing. As she held him close, for a minute she'd thought about, Jack, and how she wished it was him dancing with her, holding her close; their bodies pressed tightly against each other. Reminding herself that, that was why she was here.with Pete, she pulled him closer, enjoying the feel of someone close, helped heal an empty space that had been there too long.

Driving her back home, Pete glowed at the way she sparkled in the night and he didn't want it to end; everything had been right: the mood, her company. He wanted to feel closer to her, to wake up beside her, and he hoped she felt the same.

Toying with the idea of inviting him in, Sam hesitated; it had been so long since she's made love. For one night she wanted to have that closeness with someone and since Pete was the only likely source of getting some resolution in her life, she decided to risk it. It wasn't as if she invited anyone into her bed, but sometimes a woman.just needed to have someone lying beside them in the morning. All she wanted was for someone to hold her and give her the tenderness that she craved. It wasn't as if she didn't like Pete, because she did. Tonight though, was one night she would forget that she was one of the boys and enjoy her femininity. Letting herself relax and enjoy the moment was the only way that she could move forward.

The sun was rising brightly; she couldn't believe that they had talked for most of the night. She loved the pillow talk afterwards; everything just seemed so natural between them. Gradually she lowered her guard and let him see more of her than she had most men. He was so easy to talk to, that she felt herself talking about her family and growing up, the problems she'd had with Jonas.and that was something she'd never shared with anyone; not even Janet knew how hard the days were after Jonas had been killed.

Pete began talking about the reasons why he had become a cop, and Sam knew then that it was just a matter of time, before the conversation of work turned towards her. Nervousness began to erupt in her stomach, when the topic began focusing on her job. This was the part that she'd been dreading, she wanted to tell him, but she wasn't prepared to put his life in danger or put her job on the line by revealing her work at the SGC.

The words resonated in her ears as she watched him get out of bed and get dressed, "How can we have a future if you won't share your life with me!"

He was right, and she knew it.and that was the problem. But she hadn't expected him to get up and walk out on her after they'd made love. Seeing him like this upset her more than she realised, and this was purely the reason why she hadn't risked everything before. Her greatest fear was that when you love someone.they hurt you. That's what happened in the past and that's what was happening now. All Sam could do was standby and watch, hoping that he'd change his mind and prove her wrong.but he didn't, and here she was left alone once more. Her heart was breaking at the thought and she was now determined to live her life alone.

Hanging up the phone in her lab, she realised that it was entirely possible she wouldn't see him again. The day was getting worse by the minute! Earlier on, Daniel, Teal'c and herself had believed that Osiris was controlling his dreams and that was why he was so tired. They had to do something to stop her and soon.before something happened. To top it off, Pete was ignoring her phone calls, which was never a good sign. Could this day get any worse!

"What have we got?" Jack asked with excitement.

"Daniel's at his house with a team, setting up video surveillance." Sam replied distractedly.

Hearing a distance in her voice, he knew something wasn't quite right and tried to elicit a smile from her. "Teal'c's picking out his donuts, he loves a good stakeout." Jack advised brightly picking up a dart from the metallic table.

A small smile broke free from her, "Jamming device has been installed in the surveillance van, and it should prevent Osiris from beaming herself out."

"We're taking her down with these?" Jack enquired waving the needle from side to side and finding it fascinating.

"She probably has her own personal shield, but we know a tranquil dart will get through. At that point we hope the Tok'ra can safely remove the symbiote and save Sarah."

"What about the whole Lost City, deal?"

"We watch and see, once in his room, Osiris won't be able to leave. It's just a case of us getting to her before she finds out that she's been made." Sam answered with less exuberance than normal.

Now he knew something was up, and it hurt him to see her like this. He suspected something wasn't right and at that point he knew that it had something to do with, "Pete". Whether it was instinctual, or he'd been there before, he wasn't sure. All he knew was; Carter was hurting.

"Backup?"

"Local authorities have been notified, but we don't want to do anything to alert Osiris."

Jack watched as she closed the case lid, which was lying on the table. She seemed distant and unsettled, he'd never seen her like this before and it bothered him. While he knew this situation was bound to happen at sometime or another, he hoped he'd never have to watch her go through this. He wanted her to be happy and to have someone in her life that could take care of her.even if it wasn't him. What distracted him more was the fact that something was going wrong with her personal life, and she wasn't sharing it with him. After all they'd been through together, he hoped she would at least feel as if she could confide in him. It didn't look as if she were going to though and he realised at that point, that he'd have to make the first move, no matter how hard it was for either of them.

"How's Pete?" Jack asked casually, wanting her to see that it was okay for her to talk to him about Pete.

Sam felt as if she had punched in the stomach, this was certainly not something she expected, particularly after their awkward silence in the elevator. When she took a few seconds to control her breathing, she looked deeply at his facial expression; there was no awkwardness there, or judgement. He didn't seem upset or angry that she was dating someone else, it felt normal, something she never expected it would be between them.

"You know how it is?" Sam started off slowly, trying to gauge his reaction. When he looked at her intently, jack conveyed with his eyes to let her know that she should continue, and that was all Sam needed. "Usually you don't let it bother you, because you know they couldn't cope with the truth anyway."

"Usually."

They had both been in this situation, before, with friends, relatives and neighbours. Their working lives had to remain Top Secret, which was one of the pitfalls of working for a secret organisation. It was one of the reasons why their relationships with people on the base were so strong, purely because you can go to your colleagues and tell them you've had a crappy day, because some Alien stole part of your memories or you got Zatted at close range.and they'd understand, because they've been in that position themselves.

With people outside the base, they could never truly open up to them, it was a part of their life that they could never be involved with. As the missions got harder and more deadlier, the more they relied on each other, but sometimes, there were things in life that she had to do and this was one of those times that Sam felt lost because of it.

The words hurt her as she said, "I think he could have."

It had been a long day, everything had been organised to ensure Daniel's safety, and he knew he could rely on his friends to keep it that way. An irritation crept through him as he heard Jack say, "Daniel.Daniel! Are you sleeping yet?"

"Yes, Jack, I'm fast asleep." Daniel replied with slight annoyance. If Jack didn't shut up, he'd never get any sleep, and he's be doomed to go on like this for another week, and in all honesty he'd about reached the end of his limits. Physical exertion or the stress of battles, he could cope with, but not sleep deprivation. Over the last few days, he had gotten to the stage where he couldn't concentrate any more. Now though he hoped to find resolution and maybe in the process he'd get Sarah back. Eventually he fell into a deep slumber.

After what seemed like eternity, Daniel had fallen asleep. While Carter was busy jamming Osiris's frequency to stop the beam out, Jack and Teal'c lay in wait for the signal.

Within moments of Daniel's realisation as to Osiris's intentions, he woke up to find her leaning over him, a hand device encapsulated around her wrist and fingers. As Daniel mumbled incoherently, Osiris seized the opportunity and tried to erase his thoughts and his lifeline. As the hand device glowed from her inner power, Daniel grasped his head as a searing pain soared through his skull, taking away everything in his mind, extracting his thoughts with such ease filled Osiris with pleasure as she watched him squirm beneath her.

A noise from the side of her threw her off balance and she tried to activate the signal to return to her ship. Realising that she wouldn't escape through normal means she fired at Jack, hitting him square in the chest and throwing him against the wall knocking him unconscious.

Stepping out of the van to help her colleagues, she became distracted as Pete made his presence known.

"Pete.what are you?" Sam asked, with animosity, she couldn't believe that he'd followed her to a stake out, which could ultimately jeopardise the whole operation. Before she had the chance to tell him exactly what she thought, Osiris fired her weapon hitting everything in sight. "GET DOWN!"

"Holy..." Pete voiced with wonder as beams of energy and light expelled from this 'women's' hands, he'd never seen anything like it. Hesitating slightly the energy weapon hit the side of the truck and he returned fire.

"It's no use, Pete!" Sam advised crouching herself behind a parked car, trying hard not to get caught by the beam.

"Yeah! Why is that?" Pete replied breathlessly.

Without warning, Osiris stopped suddenly and looking directly at the truck in front of her, she'd found her next target. Her eyes glowed a brilliant white, and it a flash they returned to normal, her Goa'uld venomous instincts showing briefly, before she sought out her latest victims.

Pete was in shock as he watched with wonder, a glaze filtered over his face as he announced, "That is not normal!"

Sam realised first what Osiris was planning and she shouted to Pete, "GET DOWN!"

Adrenaline surged through their bodies, as her aim found it's target. Hitting the back tyre, Sam and Pete threw themselves onto the ground as they waited for the explosion. Shielding each other from the blast, they lay on the ground, unmoving.

With Osiris's attention paid to her victims, she failed to hear the commotion and the people behind her as O'Neill fired the tranquilliser into her body, and within a heartbeat her fate was sealed.

On the ground in front of the burning truck, Sam turned over to check on Pete, initially he told her he was fine, but placing her hand on his stomach, she felt blood soaking through her fingers and the realisation shook her to her very soul, he was injured.maybe dying, and she couldn't allow that to happen, she was not prepared to risk anyone else's life on account of her job. Calling out to her CO, her friend she shouted that Pete was injured.

Jack's face said it all, he was not happy. Running inside to call an ambulance, angry thoughts filtered round his mind. "Stupid, stupid, man." Then the other half of his brain saw the panic in his friend's face. And no matter what he thought of Pete, he wouldn't have Carter suffer.

Sam was thrilled that Pete was going to be all right, it seemed as if the 'curse' that had plagued her for so long was finally broken and she couldn't have been more pleased. Finally she was able to tell him what her work was like and the wonderful people she worked with. She couldn't wait for him to meet Daniel, she expected them to get on so well, she felt like a kid in a candy shop. Then there was Janet; she knew her friend would like him, mostly because she did. Teal'c would probably just glare at him; let him know in his silent way that he was to take care of her and if he hurt her in any way, he would come after him. And then there was the Colonel.

Standing in the corridor, Jack watched as his 2IC went to visit her boyfriend. He couldn't believe that General Hammond had authorised her to tell him about the Stargate programme. Thinking about it rationally now, he knew that it was the right thing to do. Seeing Osiris shooting stuff out of her hands was not a normal scenario, not even in the USA; where strange things can and do happen on a daily basis.

Unhappiness filtered through him, lowering his head, he took a deep breath, believing that it might be the end of.end of what? Friendship? No, not friendship, but the love he held deep within his heart.he wasn't sure; he couldn't even contemplate that thought, it hurt too much. So lost in thought, he didn't even hear his friend walking up to him.

"O'Neill! Have you been properly introduced with Major Carter's friend?" Teal'c stated plainly. He knew that this was a difficult time for his friend and while he wouldn't say something so directly, he would say it in his own way. "I'm sure Major Carter would want the two of you to become friends, do you not think?"

"Friend." Jack replied softly, his voice barely above a whisper. Then raising his voice, he answered, "No, Major Carter hasn't had the chance to introduce us to her friend; 'Pit's'..."

"Peter Shanahan, I believe you meant, O'Neill."

"Sorry...um.Freudian slip. Anyway, I think she needs a bit of time with him before I introduce myself. So..." Jack stated rubbing his hands, "...any donuts left? We'll go share them with, Daniel while Frasier's giving him the once over."

Walking towards the infirmary, Teal'c replied simply, "I have consumed them, O'Neill as you did not wish to have any." He hoped it would have the desired effect of taking his friends mind off the situation, and it appeared to work, when he heard his friend's soft admonishment.

"Teal'c.how could you, you know the chocolate ones were my favourite. What are you going to tell, Daniel?"

"I will send flowers." Teal'c replied stoically.

End of Chapter 4

* * *


	5. Moments in Time

Okay, I kinda went overboard with this, but what can I say, it oozed shippiness.

So, for all those that reviewed the last chap thanks again, you guys certainly keep me motivated.

**Anyway, enough of the yapping, and it true Scully fashion, for those that need to pee, "GO NOW!" It's a doozy of a chapter, 24 pages of shippiness :O)**

Rating: PG 15 – cos there's a lil bit of swearing, not graphic though, and a lil nudity scene ;o) again though there's no mention of any genitalia, I just let your imagination take you there as he's… ***ahem*** Enough said, go read :O)

Stargate is not mine, ***sniff*** I'm just having a lil fun, while SG-1 go kick some butt!

Spoilers: Death Knell, Grace, D&C

***Chapter 5 – Moments in Time***

For the last week, Sam and Jacob had worked almost non-stop trying to design a weapon to thwart an attack by Anubis's super soldier. Tired and cranky, they were beginning to bicker on the fifth day. Jacob had been growing more annoying by the minute and Sam was just about reaching her limit with him. What she was tinkering with was not something that you could just throw together. It needed precise engineering and concentration, something she wasn't able to do with her father stomping around the metallic hut; tossing objects from one side of the room to the other with increasing frustration.  Sam watched him intently; she'd never seen her father this agitated.

"Where's the matrix crystal?" Jacob asked heatedly checking the glass cabinet for what seemed to be the 100th time.

"Next to the primaries." Sam replied turning back to her new project, pointing in the direction of the metallic cabinet situated behind her.

"I can't find anything! I had a system back at the old Alpha site." Jacob told her waving his arms up in the air, admitting defeat. 

"Well the location of the old Alpha site has been compromised, when Anubis used his mind probe on Jonas.  You really didn't want to hang around there, did you?" Sam retorted, carrying on with some delicate re-wiring.

"I just want to work as efficiently as possible. The drones are kicking the crap out of the system lords and we're next. This proto-type should have been completed weeks ago!"

"It's done…it's just…not finished." Sam advised her father delicately hoping not to stir up another argument between them.

"Interesting distinction."

"Look!" Sam advised him sternly, putting her tools down on the workbench in front of her. "We only got the Telchak's device a month ago, I'm surprised we were able to come up with something so quickly."  
  


"In it's current configuration, the weapon is only 70% effective in counteracting the re-animation technology."

"That's because the power unit you've been using hasn't been calibrated properly. This one will be better." Sam told him firmly, getting exasperated at his current mood.

"Maybe." Jacob advised her, un-convinced that this new device would help.

"Have you not had your coffee this morning?" Sam enquired, finally exasperated by her father's negative attitude. 

"Selmak doesn't like coffee." Jacob advised her, lowering his head. For some reason, feeling embarrassed.

"You gave up coffee for your symbiote?" Sam asked looking directly at her father, a shocked expression showed in her face as her father nodded. "I didn't know that."

"That's because we never talk anymore, Sam."

Sighing in response, Sam couldn't believe he'd said that.  Sure they talked; admittedly not as much as they used to do when he'd first joined the Tok'Ra, but it didn't mean that they never spoke to each other anymore. For a moment she felt hurt by his statement, she knew she'd been busy for the last few weeks, and he'd been off doing undercover work, but she'd made time for him when she could. That was typical of her dad, always dramatising things. He'd been worse since he'd blended with Selmak, the most wise of the Tok'Ra. Maybe now would be the best time to tell him that he was being overly dramatic. Before she had a chance to tell him otherwise, Lieutenant Glenn came rushing in advising that the base had been compromised and that they were bugging out. 

An intense look fell over Sam and Jacob's face, as they heard the news. The siren was blaring in the background warning everyone to evacuate the base and to head over to the Beta site.  If the base was being attacked it meant only one thing; their secret had been leaked to the Goa'uld…possibly Anubis.  This meant that Sam and Jacob had very little time to ensure the weapon was fully functional.  If they couldn't get it to work properly, they wouldn't stand a chance against the super soldiers, and ultimately they could be wiped out.  That was one thing that Sam and Jacob were agreed on; they would do everything in their power to stop the device falling into their enemy's hands, even if it meant giving up their lives to thwart the attack.

********

Preparing himself to head off world to the Alpha site, Jack had heard the news a few minutes earlier when Hammond had called SG-1 into the control room. The General had already advised them that there was more than 90 people were missing, including Sam. He knew the dangers, as did the rest of his team; encroaching on hostile territory was not the sort of decision to be taken lightly.  For a brief moment, he thought the General wasn't going to let them go back. He knew though that no matter what the General had said, he would ultimately find a way to bring her and the others home.

As he began fastening his vest, he felt  uneasiness form in the pit of his stomach. It was exactly the same feeling he'd had when she'd gone missing aboard the Prometheus. The same thoughts drifted through his mind that he might never see her again, but this time it was different. This time blackness engulfed his thoughts, he knew before he'd got there that there was a chance she might be dead and he felt his throat restrict at the possibility.

Jack was the last one to get ready, which surprised him, normally he'd be the first person standing by the gate, but a part of him felt the need for a few moments of solitude, to prepare himself for what he might find.

Lost in thought, he felt a tap on his shoulder, "O'Neill, are you all right?"

"I'm fine Teal'c, lets get this over with."

"O'Neill, I know that you are concerned for Major Carter…"

"Teal'c, not now." Jack told him plainly, and in no un-certain terms, this wasn't the time or the place for this discussion. "I don't want to think about it.  Lets just get our asses going, the sooner we get there, the sooner we find the survivors."

"As you wish." Bowing his head Teal'c watched as his friend slammed the locker door and headed out the room, without so much as looking back at him.

He knew his friend was hurting, but he hoped that one day he would realise that his friends were there for him and that they understood exactly what he was going through. The problem was, his friend had, for so long, been used to coping with life and death situations on his own, that it was more than likely that he would remain stoic until Major Carter was found.

***

After hitting the super soldier in the chest, Sam and Jacob set the self destruct and ran out of the makeshift metallic hut, heading towards their nearest escape route. As they neared the gate, one of the super soldiers spotted them, raising his weapon he fired - the shots coming in quick succession, only narrowly missing their target.

Falling to the ground, Jacob turned to Sam, his eyes reflecting fear that they would die on this planet before they had the opportunity to share their new weapon.

"Sam, you have to get out of here, try heading for the forest.  I'll keep the drone occupied.  Whatever you do, don't let them get their hands on the chip."

"Dad, I'm not leaving you."

"Sam, there's no time to debate this…get going.  I'll try and stall him for as long as I can. The self destruct is due to go off in a couple of minutes, you need to get yourself as far away from the base as possible."

Giving her dad one last look, her eyes brimmed with tears, knowing this might be the last time she'd see him.

"GO!" Jacob shouted, lying down to avoid getting hit - returning fire when the opportunity presented itself. "I'll cover you."

Nodding in response, Sam waited till her father returned fire and ran as if her life depended on it over the mountains of soil and grit heading for high ground. Glancing back briefly she saw her dad heading in the opposite direction, the edges of the forest concealing him against the enemy. The super soldier began advancing on its prey as he made his way towards the forest.

Within moments a shock wave exploded from the compound causing an energy wave to destroy anything in its path. Shards of metal seemed to be lifted up into the air, as easily as if they were paper bags floating in the wind. Dust and dirt erupted from the ground causing a sandstorm. Trees lining the compound seemed to fall to the ground like twigs, fire engulfing the shrubs and flora that nestled around the tree trunks seemed to light like kindling; the flames becoming more intense and growing exponentially like an apocalypse.

Sam could hear the explosion and knew it wouldn't be long before the shock wave caught up with her.  Running with complete determination she felt herself being hit in the back by the explosive force of the self-destruct, causing her to stumble down the sides of the ravines. Rolling down the rocky sides of the countryside, she felt immense pain tearing through her body as snags of rock and tree limbs tore through her leg and arm.  Holding her arms out in an effort to stop the falling rocks that tumbled after her, she failed to stop her head connecting with a rock that lay to one side. As she reached the bottom of the ravine her rapid decent finally coming to a stop, she lay back on the soil, her body battered and bruised. 

Bringing her hand to her forehead she felt a stickiness flowing down her fingers, trying to get her breath back, she closed her eyes briefly. Whatever happened she knew she was in serious trouble, not only from her injuries, but also from the soldier. Thoughts and feelings bombarded her mind. She had to find a way to let the SGC know what happened, but first though, she had to assess her injuries. Talking to herself in an effort to stay conscious, she worked out how many injuries she'd sustained starting at her head, which felt as if it were being crushed in a vice. "Great, Sam. Janet's going to kick your ass for getting another concussion." Feeling her way down her body, her ribs seemed okay, if not a bit bruised. Before she had the chance to assess the damage to her legs, a sudden wave of nausea erupted, causing her to lose her lunch; her head began protesting at the sudden movement and she felt the edges of her vision fading before lapsing into un-consciousness.

***

Emerging from the pit formed by the explosive wave of the vortex hitting the dirt, SG-1 surveyed their surroundings. Taking in fully the effects of the attack, they watched as billows of smoke rose up from the ground where smouldering fires remained lit. The smoke circulated around their bodies, covering their clothes before rising up into the sky.  The smell of burning embers filled their nostrils. Whatever had occurred here was completely evident for all to see; scorched earth littered the pathway from the Stargate to the forest. 

At first glance it appeared as if the world had been under heavy attack, but Jack and Teal'c knew different, they'd seen similar effects of devastation on previous missions.

"A single radius blast." Jack advised polishing his sunglasses. To him, this was a good sign, it meant that the Alpha site hadn't been completely over run as they'd first thought, and there might be a chance that Sam was still alive along with other members.  First though, if they were going to find the survivors they would need reinforcements.

As the second team came through the gate, Jack clicked the ammunitions cartridge into his P-90 before briefing the team.

"So, we'll split up. Search for survivors."

"Who could've survived this?" Colonel Reynolds said to no one in particular, looking around at the destruction.

Jack couldn't believe his ears.  Here they were on a search and rescue mission and this idiot was making stupid remarks and he was pissed. Glaring at the man in front of him, he felt an overwhelming urge to punch him in the face; this wasn't just anyone they would be searching for, this was a member of his team.  Not only that, there were other SG units missing out there. If it weren't for the fact that he was in control of this mission he would've decked him there and then. A piercing stare settled in his eyes as he told the man,  "Start with the tree line there."

Shifting his glaze downwards he realised he'd ticked the Colonel off, and berated himself for speaking before engaging his brain. "Copy." Lifting his eyes towards the others he realised the Colonel wasn't the only one that was pissed. Stealing a look at the Jaffa warrior, his eyes reflected that he would rip him in two if he ever made a comment like that again. The only thing he could do at that moment was head his team out as quickly as possible; avoiding any more run-ins. 

Walking with purpose in his stride, Daniel and Teal'c fell into step behind Jack, their eyes scanning the horizon for any sign of life. Jack remained quiet, his heart racing at what they might find. The further they walked, the more his agitation grew as he weaved in and out of the burning embers. Dark thoughts began creeping towards the surface at the real possibility they might not find anyone alive. He'd seen this amount of destruction before, but rarely found survivors in the midst of this desecration; his hope of finding her alive was failing fast. Berating himself, he knew he should never have left her there with Jacob and the others.  It wasn't that he didn't trust the Tok'Ra or the other Jaffa that were based there; he knew he'd had no other alternative. *But* to house them there in the Alpha site so that they could build up their defences once more, was something that he'd regretted from the beginning. Intuition caused his insides to turn cold at the thought that someone had betrayed them; and he was going to do everything in his power to find out who was responsible for the leak.

Teal'c spotted it first, calling Jack over to where he stood.  Carefully removing the debris from the object he realised that it was part of the armoury that encased the body of the super soldier. 

The radio crackled before a voice connected, "O'Neill."

"Go ahead."

Daniel and Teal'c watched in silence as Jack began receiving information; a deathly silence engulfed them as they waited with baited breath to find out if their friend was one of the casualties.

"We've found 12 survivors, but they're not in good shape. Some can walk, but most need urgent medical treatment."

"Is Major Carter one of them?" Jack asked hopefully, but outwardly showed no emotion.

"No I'm afraid not." Colonel Reynolds advised solemnly, unable to look at his colleagues, finally realising the implications of his previous words.

Jack didn't know what to say, she wasn't with the others so that could only mean three things. They were either searching for her body and would come across it near the clearing, or she had been killed instantaneously in the blast and therefore they might never find her body.  Or she was lying injured somewhere and waiting for rescue. They were all possible scenarios, but he was hoping that she'd made it out in one peace, because if she hadn't he was going to seriously kick some Goa'uld ass, and no one would stop him until every single one of those worms were stomped on vehemently. If it took him the rest of his life he would hunt them down one by one, killing them with his bare hands. His whole body tensed in response to his darkened mood and his eyes took on an unfocused steely glaze.

Jack's change in demeanour didn't go un-noticed by Daniel or Teal'c, they knew how hard this was for him, remembering what he'd been like only 4 weeks ago when he'd nearly lost hope at finding Sam.

"Jack, we will find her." Daniel advised him trying in some way to comfort him, but knowing that until she was standing face to face with them, he wouldn't believe him.

"Major Carter is a formidable warrior O'Neill, I am certain that she has managed to elude her enemy." Teal'c continued reaffirming what he'd said earlier.

Taking a deep breath, Jack wasn't unintentionally ignoring what they were saying, he'd never openly shared his feelings about her with them before and he wasn't about to start now. If he did find her, he wasn't sure what he was going to say. He wanted her to know how much she meant to him, and how lost he felt each time she was hurt or missing. Unfortunately their timing was never right and he honestly didn't know what to do anymore.

"Lets keep moving." Jack told them stoically, pushing his feelings for her to one side.

After searching in silence for the next 20 minutes, Jack led the front with Daniel and Teal'c on his six. Traipsing around the forest without further sign of any more survivors began to weigh heavy on everyone's mind. The silence was only occasional broken by the snapping of branches crunching beneath their feet. Fires, which had torn through the forest hours earlier, began to extinguish themselves; leaving only small plumes of smoke filtering into the atmosphere; leaving a lingering smell on SG-1's uniform. Daniel sneezed as dust kicked up from the ground below wafted through his nasal passages and he mumbled a quiet apology.

Out of the corner of his eyes, Jack was certain he saw something moving under the rubble, stopping suddenly, he knew it wasn't his eyes deceiving him.

"Jacob!" Jack shouted running over to him, as he lay trapped underneath a large log, his legs crushed by the full weight of the object. Teal'c and Daniel quickly followed suit, each of them doing what they did best, taking control of the situation. Thoughts churned round in their minds; if they had found Jacob, then surely Sam would be somewhere near here.

Teal'c began lifting the log from Jacob's leg almost immediately, the strain of the heavy object flickered through his face, his muscles rippling with exertion at removing the log from their friend's trapped body.

"Anubis's drones!" Jacob breathed heavily, trying to remain conscious as the blood spilled onto the ground beneath him.

"We know." Jack told him, trying to calm his fears.

As soon as Jacob's leg was pulled free, Daniel pulled out bandages from the medical kit and began treating his wounds as best he could, Given the field conditions and his limited medical training, he could only help so much, but he hoped it would be enough until they could return through the gate.

 "Here take this." Jacob advised holding out the modified TER, that Sam and him had been working on back at the base camp. "It's not 100%, but it's all we've got. It has a few more shots. Sam has fully charged power unit." He continued breathlessly. 

"Where is she?" Jack asked concerned.

"I don't know." Jacob replied honestly, feeling as if his whole world was crashing down on him. "I don't even know if she's alive."

For a moment Daniel stopped dressing the wound and looked closely at him, realisation took a hold of him and stopped him cold; he might never see Sam again.

Teal'c was never one to show emotion, but as Daniel glanced over at his Jaffa friend, there was definitely a look of sorrow hiding behind his chocolate brown eyes. Turning back towards Jack, he knew he was hurting. With his eyes covered by his dark sunglasses, he couldn't see how much pain his friend was going through at that moment, but he knew it must have hurt to have heard the words coming from Jacob's mouth; and he didn't know where to look.

"Daniel, I need for you to go back to the SGC with Jacob, try and get as much information then contact me on the radio.  I need to know what we're dealing with… if Sam has any chance of surviving."

"Jack…"

"Daniel, please I don't want to get into it now. Lets just get Jacob back." Jack retorted, not allowing Daniel to express his feelings on the matter.  He knew that he wanted to help find, Sam, *but* right now he needed information and fast.

Nodding in acceptance, Teal'c helped Daniel lift Jacob off the ground, supporting him as he struggled to gain his balance.  The walk back to the Stargate had been long and arduous.  The ground was pitted with stones and debris and with Jacob struggling to remain upright; the journey back took them nearly twice as long.

Watching Daniel and the rest of the survivors head towards the gate, Jacks thoughts turned to Sam and the remaining missing SGC personnel, hope was fading as quick as the daylight, and they only had another four hours before night began closing in. If Sam were out there, injured, her chances of survival would be slowly diminishing. The nights around here had a habit of falling below zero and he didn't even want to think of anything more serious.  

"Lets get going, Teal'c." Jack advised turning towards his friend.

***

Sam didn't know how long she'd been unconscious, what she did know, was, she was loosing a lot of blood. Trying to clear her head, which seemed to feel like someone had shoved a tonne of cotton wool balls into her brain and she couldn't think properly.  "Try and focus, Sam!" She berated herself, ripping off a piece of material from her clothing to stop the flow of blood.  Tightening the makeshift tourniquet around her leg to induce clotting, she screamed in agony.  Every fibre of her body felt like a torrid of fire ants were crawling inside her and she had to force herself to remain conscious; a cold sweat crept over her as the bile in her stomach began rising up her throat.

After a few minutes, Sam calmed herself down and allowed her military training to kick in. Hell, she'd been in worse situations than this and she wasn't about to start loosing it now. Forcing herself to stand, she pushed herself up from the dirt causing pain to tear through her body, but she was determined she wasn't going to give up, there were too many unresolved issues that she needed to deal with.

***

Lying in the infirmary with Daniel sitting across from him, Jacob knew he needed answers, but more importantly, he wanted to know what happened to Sam. Relaying what happened on the planet was difficult enough, but when it came to telling Daniel about Sam, a lump caught in his throat and he felt his body go tense. 

"…Out of all the rooms on the base, why did it come to that lab?" Jacob speculated. Inside he believed that there was a possibility of a Tok'ra or Jaffa spy, but he couldn't bring himself to say it out loud.  The Tok'Ra were his family just as Sam was, but now a deep-rooted suspicion settled in the pit of his stomach at the possibility that one of his own could betray them. As for the Jaffa, sure they had their quarrels with them, but with everything they had been through in the past and the fact that they were helping them become free by supplying vast amounts of tretonin, he couldn't understand why they would risk breaking the alliance. His concerns though didn't lie with his comrades, they rested with his daughter's well-being, because he knew that Anubis's drones wouldn't rest until they acquired what they had set out to get; the new weapon, and nothing short of a direct blast was going to stop them killing Sam; and he felt helpless.

"Daniel, it won't stop until it gets the weapon.  Sam's in real danger and all I can do is lie here like some…"

"Jacob, you're injured. Give yourself a break." 

"You think that the drone will give Sam a break if it catches up with her?" Jacob told him heatedly.

Silence filled the air between them and Daniel bowed his head, "Jacob…I know that things don't look so great now, but Sam's a fighter. I've worked side by side with her for a long time; she's more resourceful than we give her credit for."

"I'm sorry Daniel, sometimes I forget that she's not my little girl anymore, that she's a grown women.  I just don't know how I'd cope if I lost her."

"Jacob, I know what it's like to lose someone you love, but…we don't know if Sam's dead and thinking like this isn't going to help either of you.  You need to concentrate on getting back on your feet. Jack and Teal'c are out there searching for her as we speak. And you know Jack, he won't leave anyone behind…he'll find her, trust me."

Jacob nodded solemnly, he knew that there was an unspoken bond between Jack and his daughter and every so often when he'd see them together he swore there was something more going on. He knew that Jack cared for her and knowing that helped ease some of the worry he was feeling, but ultimately he wished it were looking for her.

***

Sam began walking through the dense forest, trying to find signs that she wasn't on her own. Willing herself to move forward, she didn't know how long she had been walking when suddenly she felt light-headed from loss of blood and water.  She couldn't remember the last time she'd had a drink and her throat felt like the bottom of a sand pit. She knew she had to rest for a few moments, but the fear that the super soldier could be anywhere near by compelled her to continue moving forward heading north east into the hills. After walking for what seemed like eternity she found a little ravine that would provide some shelter and allow herself to catch her breath and fix the bandage on her wounds.

It wasn't long before she heard branches snapping under the weight of something heavy, footsteps echoed in the quietness of the forest; drawing closer to her. Her heart slammed against her chest and she dived under the fauna for cover, her head nestling deep into the dirt as far as she could to stop the predator from seeing her. As her gaze flickered upwards she spotted the figure standing not more than ten feet above her, watching and waiting for signs of movement. A beam of sunlight filtered through the trees settling on her face and she prayed that the soldier couldn't see the reflective shadow that displayed beside her.  Holding her breath she waited for signs that he'd passed.

Knowing she couldn't stay there for much longer, she waited until she knew the danger had passed before making her escape out the ravine; heading for high ground.

***

Jack and Teal'c had heard a few moments earlier that General Hammond had arranged for a UAV to be sent through the Stargate. Following the tracks that they'd found earlier, Jack advised him that they were heading for East and requested they send the UAV in that direction in the hope of finding her.

It had been a long and exhausting day for both of them, but they weren't prepared to stop until they found her, each resolute in their objectives to find her and bring her home. An eerie silence befell the forest which had become commonplace since their arrival, the lack of birds chirping in the trees was indicative that something terrible had occurred here. Neither of them felt the need for conversing. They both knew what they had to do, their minds set on achieving their goals. 

***

Picking up her pace, Sam began weaving in and out of the trees trying to find a safe place to rest, her hands and face were bloodied from branches snagging on her clothes and flesh as she tried to gain enough distance from her enemy. Hobbling along through the dense forest she caught her foot over a fallen branch and fell to the ground, pain ripping through her body. "Crap!" She cried dragging herself to a nearby tree and steadying herself against it. Frustrated at her failing body, tears began to well in her eyes. "Dam it Sam, pull yourself together." She scolded herself. 

The super soldier resolute in its mission crept silently through the forest searching for its prey. Passing through the forest it noticed blood splattered against the leaves of the local flora - indicating that it wouldn't be long before he found her and the device. 

Then he saw it a lone figure slumped against a tree; their leg outstretched and it knew that his master would be pleased that he had found the device. Raising his arm he prepared himself to kill the person that lay before him, the weapon activated on his armoury as he crept silently towards the body.

Closing her eyes momentarily, she felt the events of the day catching up with her. Her body was surviving only on pure adrenaline, and she didn't know how much more of this she could take.  As her breathing became shallow, she felt herself slip slowly unto unconsciousness.

The armed super soldier came closer to the figure his stance revealing that he would kill the individual without hesitation.  Creeping forward he came across the body…it was dead, apparently killed by the blast.  Lowering his arm, he continued on his journey.

A sudden sense of foreboding washed over her and she felt as if someone was walking over her grave. She knew then that she was in danger if she stayed a moment longer.

Using the trees as cover, she spotted a small stream of water, knowing that the dehydration could kill her as much as the blood loss, she scanned the horizon; searching for any signs of Anubis's drone.  Believing that it was safe she hurried towards the waterfront her thirst suddenly overpowering urging her forward. Scooping the water into her hands, bringing it to her perched lips, she gulped the liquid down as fast as she could, "nothing had ever tasted this good", she thought to herself as the droplets of water ran down the side of her fingers.

With her attention elsewhere, she failed to see a figure standing at the other end of the stream, its arm outstretched preparing to fire at its target. As the soldier fired his weapon, it narrowly missed her body and hitting the thick pile of logs beside her, shaking her out of her silent reverie.  Looking up, she spotted him watching her, taking aim once more, ignoring the pain in her body she dived over the logs for protection; shards of wood exploded out of the logs showering the lower half of body with debris as she tried to make her escape.

Sam knew that while she was injured she was a moving target and the best thing she could do at the moment was lie low. Finding a place to hide herself was easier said than done though. It took her almost half an hour to find a secluded area, snapping branches of the trees she tried to camouflage herself, as soon as she realised that she had enough to cover her whole body, she lay down on the ground, gentle manoeuvring the twigs and leaves to ensure that all her body was covered.  Closing her eyes in contemplation, her thoughts quickly turned to her friends and her dad and wondered if they were looking for her. She knew Jack wouldn't give up. "Jack." She thought shaking her head softly, proving to herself just how confused she was becoming, remembering the last time she had called him Jack. Sometimes she hated being in the military. Sure it was her choice, but she didn't have any choice at whom she fell in love with…and rightly or wrongly she loved him.

Then there was "Pete!" Sighing she didn't know what she was going to do about him, she certainly didn't love him; it was a casual fling…nothing more. She knew Pete had wanted more, but…her heart belonged to someone else and as soon as she got back home she'd tell him, it wasn't fair to keep him stringing along.

Not knowing how much time had elapsed, since she had sought cover, she felt her eyes drifting close. Before long she heard a gentle humming in the distance.  Straining to hear, she removed the branches from her face to get a better view, listening intently to the mysterious noise. As the buzzing got louder, she recognized it a few seconds before she spotted it flying overhead; it was the UAV. Her first thoughts were to get its attention, flashing her watch in the direction of the sun; she hoped the reflective glare of the sun on her glass casing would attract its attention. 

Unfortunately she didn't get much of a chance and before it had the opportunity to fly over her, a shot sped into the air and hit the machine catching the wing of the craft.  All Sam could do was lie there and watch it spiral downwards towards the ground, feelings of hope at being rescued had been shot down in flames; just like the UAV.

After a few minutes, Sam waited patiently in the undergrowth for the drone to leave, if she was going to do this, she only had one chance. Luckily she spotted a missile attached the UAV before it plummeted, and this would give her the perfect opportunity to balance the stakes, without her T.E.R this was the only means of protecting herself and she was damned if she was going to give up without a fight.

As the adrenaline surged through her body, she crept slowly and cautiously towards the crash site.  Mounting the missile onto the rock, she began tinkering with the controls in the hope of reactivating it. Her fingers and hands were torn and bloody and wouldn't co-operate with the fines tuning of the wires.  Forcing herself to concentrate, she began re-wiring the controls, while keeping a careful watch on her surroundings.  It wasn't long before she spotted him, his heavy boots kicked up a pile of dirt as he walked casually through the gravel. "Crap!" She shouted inwardly, as she huddled underneath the mass of stones, unfortunately, it spotted her.  Heading towards her with calmness and serenity the drone raised it arm in preparation to fire upon its victim.  Knowing she only had a couple of seconds to connect the remaining wires, she aimed the missile at the direction of Anubis's soldier, she knew that this was her only chance of survival.  With her body battered, bleeding and bruised, she hoped that this would work, and if not, then she would die trying.

Aiming the weapon towards its target, the soldier fired off several rounds; fire and energy blasts hit the rocks beside her, and narrowly missed as the last blast flew directly over her head.

"It's now or never!" Sam thought as she fired off the missile.  

As the missile exploded from its casing it sped off towards the drone hitting it just beside its legs.  A fireball erupted from the impact. Rocks and debris shot up from the ground like fireworks. Flames, consumed by oxygen in the atmosphere hurtled upwards towards the clouds.  Dust particles shot off in every angle, rocks came tumbling down the side of quarry like meteorites hit the ground with such force that Sam felt the earth shake beneath her feet…it was over.  The drone was dead.

***  

Jack and Teal'c heard the explosive force before they saw the effects of the fireball consume the skyline.  Running in the direction of the explosion, they didn't have time to think, their main concern was finding out what the hell had happened.

Jack's thoughts were for his 2IC, wondering if she was still alive, or if she had been caught up in another blast, his chest heaved with exertion as he made his way through the trees, hoping that he wasn't too late.

***

Walking slowly over to where the blast had been, the flames had dissipated; all that remained was smoke and debris littering the mountainside.  Finding no evidence that the drone was still alive, Sam lowered herself to the ground, her energy reserves depleted.  It had taken all of her strength and willpower to get her to this point and she honestly didn't think that there was anything left in her. Closing her eyes in quiet contemplation she allowed herself to relax for a moment, her exhaustive efforts over the last few hours had paid off.  Now all she had to do was wait.

Taking in a long breath, she exhaled slowly trying to belay the pain that ravished her body.  Only a few seconds had gone by before she heard the ground rustling beside her, pebbles and stones seemed to flowing down the small mound of dirt as a hand began appearing beneath the sand; slowly at first, but within a few seconds it gathered momentum. The drone broke through the thin layers of grit, like a phoenix rising from the ashes…reborn and ready to take its prey.

Sam's eyes grew wider in shock, her face becoming paler at the sight that lay before her as she watched the drone come to a standing position. A lump in her throat formed and she gulped, the end of her life came into focus, there was no way she could escape this time.  Sadness and fear filtered through her mind as she realised that everything her and her father had done… was for nothing.  Without the chip they'd been working on, neither Earth nor its allies would have a chance. Knowing she only had a few seconds to live, her thoughts turned to Jack and the fact that he'd never know how much she loved him.

***

Seeing that she was in danger, Jack and Teal'c headed off in different directions, Jack's primary goal was to get Sam as far away from the drone as possible and killed the son of a bitch once and for all.  Armed with his T.E.R that Jacob had given him he sped off into the undergrowth towards her direction, leaving Teal'c to stand on higher ground.

Everything happened instantaneously Teal'c fired his weapon; distracting it for a moment allowing Sam to run for cover. Narrowly missing its target, Teal'c took aim once more as the soldier turned round and returned fire, shots careering through the sky like a paper airplane whizzed past the Jaffa's body as he dived for cover.

Sam seizing the chance, hobbled towards the pile of stones. If nothing, it would only protect her for so long. *But* knowing her friends, a few minutes would be all that was needed. They wouldn't give her up without a fight.

Jack fired the T.E.R directly at the drone and hit it squarely in the chest.  For a moment it looked like something was working as the soldier lost its balance momentarily. Not giving it a second chance to recover, Jack fired again. The soldier was un-relentless in its quest and continued firing. Jack took cover as the shots smashed into the boulders.

"Carter! I need the…" O'Neill demanded, looking at her worriedly, but knowing there wasn't time to find out how badly injured she was. "…Thanks!" He continued taking the chip out of her bloodied hand.

Inserting the device into the weapon, Jack watched as the first shot hit the suit of armour, a blue bolt of light erupted around the soldier's armoured casing, causing it to stumble slightly. As a second shot exploded out of his weapon, Jack watched as the bolt of energy tore through the drones suit expanding itself across the soldier's chest.  The impact of the blast tore through the armour and the drone fell to the ground, then taking its last breath it landed in a heap on the dirt, its energy completely drained from its body.

Running towards his comrades, Jack threw Teal'c his weapon so that he could concentrate on Sam, "Cover him!"

Peering over the top of the boulders, she didn't have any energy left to finish her sentence, "Is it…?"

"Yeah, it's dead!" Jack replied solemnly. 

Sighing in relief Sam closed her eyes, finally she could rest. 

"Right Teal'c, he's dead?" Jack checked…just to be on the safe side.

Kicking the soldier with his boot to make sure, Teal'c turned round and nodded.

"Yeah, he's dead!" Jack reaffirmed to her.

As soon as she heard those words, her body decided to give up on her and all the pain over the last few hours came crashing down on her, and she didn't have the strength to move. Sinking slowly into the dirt, she nodded…it was finally over.

Jack just watched as his 2IC lowered herself onto the gravel.  He'd never seen her like this before and it scared the shit out of him. Hell they'd been in dire situations before, but he'd never seen her so fragile, and he didn't know how to deal with it. Raw emotions came flooding towards the surface, and for a moment the only thing he could do, was do what he did best; be her Commanding Officer, "You want to get up?" He broached casually, not quite sure what else to say.

"I just need to rest for a minute." Sam replied breathlessly shock completely taking over her body.

Standing over her, he shuffled his feet as if wrestling with inner thoughts and emotions. He wanted to hold her in arms, and whisper to her that he was here and he would never leave her side again.  The thought of her having to go through this on her own was tearing him up in side. He loved her with all his heart and soul and he couldn't do anything to take away her pain…and it hurt him in more ways than he could express.

Moving over to sit beside her, she didn't look at him at first; her head was hung low as if gathering every ounce of strength to stay conscious. His chest tightened in response to the shock that flickered across her pale face, her eyes once bright and full of life looked listless and unfocussed. Her hands clasped in her lap shook with the excess adrenaline leaving her body.  Opening his mouth to say something to her, the realisation hit him that he didn't know what to say. For so long he had been harbouring these feelings for her, that they threatened to overwhelm him; and in her weakened state, he didn't think she could handle anything right now. At this moment in time, he felt like it was just him and Sam, nothing in the world mattered more to him at that moment than to have her close to him. He needed the reassurance that she was still breathing and he did the only thing that he could…take her in his arms.

"Come here." He told her softly wrapping her in a warm embrace, wrapping his arm loosely around her shoulder; drawing her into his body. 

 Reciprocating at his touch, Sam leant into him, feeling the softness of his breath against her skin, the traumas of the day swept over her and she felt her body relaxing against his soft caress on her hands. As his fingers merged with hers, this was something they both needed. Words weren't necessary, the simple act of holding each other close was all that needed to be said. ***And*** for a few brief moments in time, they were no ranks or barricades holding them back; they were simply Jack and Sam, torn between love and honour.

Jack felt her relax in his embrace as he let his head rest lightly on hers. In the quietness of the ruins he whispered, "Alright…alright."

Within minutes, Sam felt the edge of unconsciousness filter over her vision and she could fight no more. Giving in to the depths of sleep, her body became slack and Jack felt the weight of her body collapse against him.  His heart rate increased, "Sam…Sam." Jack shouted, shaking her slightly, but her body was limp; like a rag doll. "Shit! Teal'c, give me a hand here, Carter's unconscious, we have to get her back to the gate now." 

Teal'c noticed the blood oozing out of her leg, "She has lost a lot of blood, O'Neill."

"Stating the obvious there, aren't we 'T'!" Jack remarked with slight annoyance, removing himself from her so he could check her pulse, her skin felt cold and clammy. Placing his two fingers against the side of her neck his heart sank, her pulse was weak and rapid and her breathing was becoming decidedly shallow, never a good sign. It was too late to contact Janet, by the time she arrived it could be too late, and he knew then that he had no alternative, but to get her home as quickly as possible, he'd never forgive himself if he lost her now.

Knowing Teal'c was stronger, he gathered her into his arms; her body lay lifeless in his grasp. "Teal'c, take her.  We need to get her out of here now."

With time of the essence, Teal'c took hold of her and the two men with all the strength they could muster ran as fast as they could towards the Stargate. Radioing the base he alerted them to the fact they had Sam, but that she was badly injured. Black thoughts crept through Jack's mind, what if they didn't get her back in time? Supposing she had internal injuries…and they were making it worse? There was no alternative though, it was either this or wait, and patience was not one of his strong points.

It took them nearly 30 minutes to get back to the gate; thankfully Janet was waiting for them at the other side.  With his face ashen, Jack watched as Teal'c placed her on a gurney. Teal'c barely had time to remove his arm from the small of Sam's back before Janet descended upon her, barking out orders to the nurses.

Hammond watched, as his subordinate lay limp and lifeless on the gurney before him, her face pale from bloodless, dried blood caked her once fresh face. He didn't know what had exactly taken place, but he knew it must've been one hell of a battle judging from the look on his 2IC's face.

"Colonel, why don't you and Teal'c clean up and I'll meet you in the infirmary."

"Sir, if it's all the same with you, I'll get cleaned up later." Jack advised stoically, putting his mask firmly back into place.

"Fine, Colonel. I have to inform the president, I'll meet you there, then." George responded, knowing fully well where he was headed.

***

It had been nearly 3 hours since she'd been rushed into the operating theatre, and Colonel O'Neill was starting to wear a hole in the floor. While they waited for Janet to come out of surgery, Jack had debriefed the General on what had happened, but with his agitation increasing. General Hammond knew that a more in-depth report could wait until later.

"What's taking them so long?" Jack replied to no one in particular.

"Major Carter's injuries must've been worse than we believed." Teal'c responded honestly.

"You're not helping, Teal'c." Jack answered flopping down on the hard plastic chairs that adorned the infirmary. 

"May I ask a personal question O'Neill?" Teal'c asked turning towards his friend.  Teal'c was fully aware that his friend was anxious over Major Carter; indeed he had seen him act this way on several occasions when her life appeared to be in jeopardy and he wasn't there to assist her. On the last occasion she had gone missing he'd tried to tell his friend that Major Carter had the same feelings for him as he had for her.  In his own mind he couldn't contemplate how two people who obviously cared about each other deeply could push their feelings to one side. Jaffa warriors were very passionate when it came to those that they loved and he found it difficult to accept that humans did not express the feelings of their hearts when it came to loving someone, particularly when the person you loved was seriously ill.  It was something that had been on his mind for a long time now, and believed that this was the most opportune time to confide in his friend what he believed.

"Depends on what it is." Jack replied distracted.

"Your relationship with Major Carter is somewhat complex, is it not?"

"No, I'm her CO and she's my 2IC.  It's not complicated at all." Jack replied non-committal, like a scene rehearsed in a play. He knew what his friend was implying; he'd tried it before when Sam had gone missing aboard the Prometheus. He remembered what Teal'c had said about Sam being upset when he'd been lost with Harry…and it surprised him. 

Over the last few months, her life had been placed in danger so frequently; he'd found the rules and regulations regarding CO's and their 2IC's more difficult to abide by. He'd tried to push his feelings so far into the back off his mind that, particularly after the whole "zantax" incident, that their relationship had gone back to being more professional. Unfortunately feelings had a way of coming back and biting you in the butt.  During the last few months, particularly when she was injured, he'd had to gather every ounce of willpower not to hold her in his arms and tell her how he felt.  He was through pretending that he didn't have feelings for her, but he didn't know how she felt now.

"Have your feelings for Major Carter changed?"

For a moment Jack had forgotten that him and Sam weren't the only people in the room that day, and it felt weird to be discussing it with Teal'c. Sure Teal'c was one of his best friends, but he'd never actually discussed the feelings he'd had about Sam with anyone, let alone the people he worked with…it was just something you never did, it could get both of them into trouble, their careers could be ruined or worse they could be court martialled…or split up if anyone found out. ***And*** he wasn't prepared to take the risk of losing not only SG-1, but Sam as well.

"Teal'c, this is sooo not the time to be having this conversation." Jack replied uncomfortably.

"O'Neill, you and Major Carter are both my friends."

Jack rolled his eyes at Teal'c's incessantness on the subject… this was not going well. "Teal'c, just drop it okay?"

"As you wish." Teal'c replied, knowing his friend would say no more on the subject.

Sitting in silence gave Jack the opportunity to try and think things through rationally, he knew he loved her, that wasn't the issue.  When he'd met her he'd never expected her to slip under his defences like this, but she had and now as he waited for her to come out of theatre he wondered what his life would be like if she wasn't with him. He'd lost too many people in his life and it had been a long time since he'd loved anyone like this and it frightened the shit out of him. 

Thankfully though he didn't have much more time alone with his thoughts as Janet emerged from the operating room. Both Jack and Teal'c rushed towards her, their faces reflecting concern as Janet walked towards them tiredly.

"How is she, Doc?" 

"She's stable, but she's not out of the woods yet, Colonel.  It took us a long time to stabilize her vitals and she'd lost nearly 4 pints of blood." Lowering her head in sadness she continued, "We nearly lost her a couple of times, but I'm more concerned about something else. Sam suffered a massive concussion, and it's the second time in as many months that she's sustained a severe head trauma."

Jack was finding it hard to keep up with what she was saying, "What do you mean, Doc."

"What I mean, Colonel, is that Sam is in a coma." Janet replied sadly.

Jack felt as if he'd been physically slapped across the face, "When will she…wake up?"

"I don't know.  It could be hours or it could be days. We'll have to wait and see."

"Isn't there anything that you can do? Does Jacob know?"

"I'm sorry, Colonel, but it's just a waiting game at the moment. I'm just going down to the briefing room to let Jacob know.  Sam will be coming back up soon, if you want to sit with her.  I'm sure if you talk with her, it'll help.  Talking to someone who's in a coma has been known to have a positive effect." Janet said with a hint of optimism.

"Thanks, Doc." Jack replied sadly, unsure of what else to say.

***

For nearly 24 hours Jack sat by her side, watching and waiting for any sign of movement. Holding her hand as he'd done in the battlefield reassured him that she was still here and breathing, there was so much he wanted to say to her. With no one else in the room with him, he spoke gently, his voice barely above a whisper.

"I don't know where to start, Sam. I don't even know if you can hear me or not.  There's something I've been wanting to say to you, but…" Clearing his throat, he felt his heart restrict in his chest, "I can't believe how hard this is for me to say, so I'm just going to come out and say it." Jack continued struggling internally to find the right words.

Opening his mouth to let the words fall out, but the only thing that followed was a slow growl of frustration. "Samantha Carter, you must be the only women in the world to turn me into a gibbering wreck. I love you, but you'll never know how much. It hurts me to see you like this, not knowing if you'll ever wake up. *And* you know the worst part…I can't tell anyone." Jack finished solemnly.

Janet watched quietly from her office as the Colonel sat quietly beside her best friend. The tray of food she'd left for him earlier lay untouched on the side. He had refused to leave her side stating categorically that whenever any of his team had been injured, they'd never wake up alone. It was something that he'd done from the very beginning and no matter how much Janet had argued with him; he'd remained stoic in his resolve that he'd be there when she woke up.

Walking towards him, she lightly touched his shoulder; he seemed a million miles away. "Colonel, you've been here for nearly 24 hours, why don't you let someone else sit with her for a bit, while you grab something to eat?"

"I will, Doc… soon." Jack replied distractedly.

"Okay, don't leave it too long, we don't want you getting sick to." Janet replied in all earnest before heading back to her office.

Jacob walked solemnly into the infirmary, his eyes transfixed on the still form of his daughter, her body pale and lifeless. Cuts and bruises marred her once clear complexion, deep gashes on her face reflected how close he'd come to losing her. A grim expression filtered in his eyes as he watched her CO sit listlessly by her bedside, his refusal to leave her alone had not gone un-noticed.

"Jack!"

"Hey, Jacob. Everything sorted?"

"More or less.  How's she doing?" Jacob enquired sitting on the edge of her bed, taking her hand in his.

"She's strong, she'll pull through." Jack replied with quiet confidence.

"How are you doing?" Jacob asked noticing the dark circles under his eyes.

"I'm fine, why?"

"Because you look like crap, Jack. Why don't you hit the showers…?"

"Are you suggesting I smell, Jacob?" Jack asked teasingly. 

"Well, I didn't like to say, but…"

"In other words, you want me to go."

"And there's me thinking that you'd never get the subtle hint."

"Subtlety was never one of your strong suits, Jacob." Getting up from his seat, he arched his back trying to rid himself of the knots and kinks that had been caused from sitting in the same position for too long. 

"If she wakes up, when I'm gone…"

"I'll get someone to fetch you, *but* I don't want you back here for at least 4 hours…understand?"

"Jacob, you're getting bossy in your old age."

"What can I say, it's part of my charm."

Jack rolled his eyes, and took one last longing look at her before leaving her in her dad's capable hands. The stresses of the day finally catching up with him, he headed for the showers.

Holding her hand more firmly he leant forward whispering softly to her. "Hey, Sam. I just wanted you to know that you're not alone, and we're all here waiting for you to wake up… when you're ready. Colonel O'Neill's' just left…he's been here all night. He's very worried about you…we all are. So wherever you are in there, it's time to come back to us." He broached gently, pushing a lock of hair that had fallen over her eyes. It had been a long time since he'd done that. He remembered when she was little and she'd woken up from nightmares; it had been the only thing that seemed to comfort her. Hoping that the simple gesture would help, he left his hand resting on her forehead smoothing back her hair in the hopes that she would waken from her deep sleep. The quiet hum of the strobe lights and the slow bleeps from the heart monitor were the only sound that could be heard in the dimly lit room. Closing his eyes in quiet contemplation he willed her to wake up.

***

Opening his locker he pulled out a clean towel before stripping off. Wrapping the towel around his waist he placed his clothes in a neat pile before walking towards the shower cubicle and turning it on. Stepping in, he allowed the water to cascade down the back of his body, the heat of the water easing his tense muscles. Turning round to face the nozzle, the gentle spray of water filtered down from his head down to his face masking the quiet falling tears that rolled down his cheeks. Finally letting his guard down, his raw emotions flooded through him like a tidal wave. Placing his head against the wall he allowed the gentle flow of water to cover him like a blanket falling of the soft contours of his body.  He didn't know how long he'd stayed there, but it was certainly long enough to cause his fingertips to wrinkle. Snapping himself out of his silent reverie, he grabbed his towel and headed for the mirror; staring at his reflection he realised that Jacob was right; he looked like shit, but he didn't care, his only concern was for Sam and when she'd wake up.

***

It had been several hours since Jack had left the infirmary; Jacob watched the gentle rise and fall of his daughter's chest, it had been nearly 30 hours since she'd been brought back and his worry that she'd never wake up was increasing with every hour that she lay there. With his agitation increasing, he didn't know how Jack had been able to stay there so quietly and diligently; Jack never was known for his patience, but he had new respect for him now.   Turning round he watched as Doctor Frasier approach him. "Janet." 

"How did you manage to get him to leave?"

"I told him he smelled."

Janet let out a small chuckle, "I'll remember that one." Moving over to check Sam's vitals she let out a small sigh at the pain her friends were going through.

"It's never easy is it?" Jacob said lightly.

"No, especially when they're your friends. I just wish there was something I could do, but unfortunately it's just a waiting game." Janet replied honestly. Sam was her best friend and she felt frustrated at her own inadequacies. 

"How much longer to you think it'll be?"

"I don't know, Jacob. I wish I could tell you that it'll be soon, but I can't.  It's up to Sam now."

Jacob nodded sadly before lapsing into silence once more. Teal'c and Daniel had been in several times over the last few hours, talking to her softly about every day things, but she hadn't even stirred.

***

Allowing Jacob some time with his daughter, Jack grabbed the opportunity to fill in his mission report to General Hammond before settling himself down in the commissary. Staring at the plate in front of him, he moved the food back and forth around his plate; his stomach grumbled in protest at the lack of sustenance. Completely distracted, he failed to hear his friends approaching.

"Is it that bad?" Daniel asked quietly taking up a seat next to his friend.

"It's okay. I'm just not hungry at the moment." Jack replied pushing the plate further away from his body.

"She will be okay, Jack."

"I know. Look I have to get back to the infirmary.  See you guys later." Jack replied hurriedly, not wanting to discuss the situation any further.

Daniel and Teal'c watched sadly at their friend's agitation, they both knew that his feeling for her went deeper than simple friendship, but ultimately it was up to them to decide the path their future would take, and Daniel hoped for their friend's happiness that that they chose the right one. 

***

Relieving Jacob for a few hours was easier than Jack had anticipated; since he'd left she hadn't stirred at all and he wondered how much longer she'd be like this. As the hours passed, he waited patiently as he'd done the day before, nothing they'd tried seemed to be working, and his frustration was increasing. 

"Okay, Sam. Enough of the sleeping! Time to haul your ass back to the land of the living. Come on! There's work to be done, and we're not going to get it finished while you're fast asleep." Jack told her trying a different approach. "Carter, I'm ordering you to wake up! Open your eyes, Major!" He demanded looking closely for a sign that she was listening. Squeezing her hand tightly, he leaned into her, whispering, "Sam, I know where you are may seem nice and safe, but there are people here that need you…I need you, Sam.  Do you hear me?"

Jack suddenly felt a flutter in his hand as Sam moved a couple of fingers in his, and he watched hopefully as her hand began gripping his. Jack let a small smile escape from his lips. 

Sam felt someone talking to her, softly at first, but then the voice had become louder, more aggressive.  The concussion was clouding her thoughts, but she recognized who was talking to her. As she floated back to reality, she felt the comforting touch of someone holding her hand.  Feeling safe and secure she struggled to open her eyes, but all she could manage was moving her fingers. It took a few minutes before she heard his voice more clearly and she opened her eyes. At first they were unfocused, but gradually his face came into vision. 

"Hey, welcome back." Jack smiled his eyes twinkling.

"Where..." Sam whispered, unable to finish the rest of her sentence.

"You're home."

Sam nodded slowly, "Dad?"

"He's okay, worried about you, but he's fine."

Sam smiled softly, her eyes drifting closed once more.

"Sam. You need to stay awake for a little while longer, while I go get the doc, okay?"

Struggling to keep her eyes open for a minute longer, the last thing she heard was Jack's voice talking to someone…Janet? Before she fell back to sleep once more.

Janet saw the improvement in her friend's vitals and smiled in relief, turning round to Colonel O'Neill, she advised, "It's a good sign. She'll probably sleep for a few more hours, but I'd say she's out of the woods."

"I'll go tell the others." Jack told her with a permanent smile. Giving his 2IC one last look before leaving he sighed in relief.  This had been one of the worst couple of his days of his life and he was glad it was over. She was back and he was going to make sure that in the future he'd never leave her side again.

***

Caught between the sleeping and waking world, Sam felt the presence of someone near by.  Opening her eyes, her lips felt cracked and sore, moistening them she felt someone sit at the edge of her bed, turning her head she saw it was her dad.

"Hiya kid." Jacob said softly, "You were asleep for a long time. You gave me quite a scare."

"Sorry." Sam whispered taking in everything he was saying.

"Jack told me what had happened, I'm proud of you."

Sam smiled at her father's praise; it wasn't often that he spoke honestly about her accomplishments, so when he praised her, it made everything seem worthwhile.

Grasping her right arm taking care not to injure her further, he continued sadly, "Look, Sam.  I may not be able to come round for a little while." Jacob's eyes glistened, he felt like he'd only just got her back and he was leaving again, but while he loved his daughter very much, he knew that Jack would take care of her, and if things were to continue with the alliance he had to do this, whether he like it or not, he'd run out of options.

"What do you mean?" Sam asked confused, everything was still a little hazy and she didn't have a clue what he was talking about.

"Things kinda got screwed up while you were out there…the alliance is in trouble."

"I don't understand." Sam continued shaking her head lightly against the pillow.

"You don't need to know details right now, lets just say we'll be going our separate ways for a while.

Struggling to comprehend what he was talking about, her eyes glazed over, what was he saying, that they'd never see each other again?

"…If I stay with the Tok'Ra, I can at least try to mend some fences."

"You're sure?" Sam replied sadly not wanting to lose her father.

"I'm not ready to give up on us just yet." Getting up from the bed, he kissed her forehead finishing, "Don't worry, I'll be back eventually." 

Sam's eyes filled with unshed tears; her voice breaking as she told him, "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you to."

Watching her Dad walk away tore her heart in two, and she allowed the tears to spill down her cheeks as the news finally sunk in.

Jack, watching quietly from the doorway told Jacob as he walked towards him, his hand outstretched in gesture. "Take care of yourself, Jacob."

Shaking his hand in friendship, he looked back at his daughter one last time, "Take good care of my daughter, Jack."  
  


"I will, I promise you."

Nodding his head solemnly, Jacob headed towards the gateroom, preparing to face whatever lay ahead.

Walking towards her, he picked up a box of tissues and cradled them in his arms, "Thought you might need these."

Sam took them from his hand and wiped the tears that refused to abate. "He's really gone?"

Jack nodded sadly, "He didn't have any choice, Sam. He wanted things to turn out differently, but there was nothing he could do. I'm sorry."

Sam felt as her emotions had been run through the treadmill, and for the first time in her life she didn't want to fall asleep alone. 

As if picking up on her emotions, Jack held her hand, "Want me to stay with you for a while?"

Sam nodded her face pleading with her eyes for him to hold her once more. Jack didn't need for her to say anything.  Rising up from his chair he sat at the edge of her bed and watched as she moved towards him, wrapping her arms around his body, her head nestled on his shoulders as he soothed her calming fears.  Small sobs escaped from her lips and her tears fell onto his shirt, as they held each other close, Jack waited until she'd fallen asleep once more before lying her back against the pillows.

Thoughts and conversations filtered through his mind, and he knew one thing was certain; he was going to keep his promise to Jacob.

The End :O)


End file.
